Decisions / Stress!

[Mickey Ocken]

Hi everyone. You may be wondering where I have been... It's been a rough uh... year?

Some of you dont know me, but I'll explain. I moved to TX 1 year ago this month. I have been toying with the idea of moving back to NJ (believe it or not!) and my old boss has offered me a job back home. I have been thinking hard about this and think I may go back. Things have not turned out as I have expected here, and I miss my friends and family. Some of the problems i have been going through are the fact that my parents are retiring to San Diego where my sis lives and they want me to move out there... The rest of my family (extended) live in NJ.

One of the many problems I have been going over is finding an apartment that will accept dogs. It is really hard to find one in Northern NJ that takes pets... If anyone knows of an apt that does, let me know.

This has been an agonizing decision for me. I feel like somewhat of a failure for not succeeding at my new job down here.

<sigh>

At least Mickey loves me. : )

[Wienergal]

Hey, Mickey--I was wondering where you'd gotten to! Sorry to hear that the Texas job hasn't worked out, but don't feel like a failure!! At the risk of sounding like my favorite TV personality (heavy sarcasm), Oprah, let me just remind you that there is no such thing as failure--there are bad fits, choices that didn't work out, and opportunities for NEW choices! http://dachsie.org/ubb/biggrin.gif

And anyway, not once, in any of your posts, did you ever sound especially happy about being in Texas. Maybe "going home" was what you wanated all along!

As to Mickey and a new apartment, there MUST be an apartment somewhere in northern NJ that will accept a dog!! http://dachsie.org/ubb/eek.gif If not, move to NYC and reverse commute! http://dachsie.org/ubb/wink.gif

It's good to have you back with us!

[Uschi]

Thankfully, I've never owned pets while looking for rental property -- I knew it was an arduous task and resigned myself to wait until I had my own home...

Recently I found a neat site, from HSUS that is geared towards people who are looking, though. The site is <a href="http://www.rentwithpets.org">RentWithPets.org</a> Although it doesn't list specific housing availability, it does give a lot of good resources and ideas to help in the search. There's a link to SpringStreet.com, which is supposedly a good rental property locator (I gave it a "test" run, and came up with a few apartments in my area that accept pets.)

Don't fret over your job in Texas. I moved away from my entire family's "home base" of Kansas, and it took me numerous conversations with myself before I finally decided that I was glad to be here, and to find a job that I enjoyed and was good at. If you're happier near your family, then go for it! Family are a great support structure. Don't feel a failure for not being able to re-create that support structure in Texas. It took me over 4 years to create a good support structure where I am now, and it's still nothing like having family around...

Best of luck in your search for your and Mickey! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smile.gif

[Dolly's Mom]

Jan,

Glad to have you back!!! WE LOVE YOU!!! Now, although I've never done a state to state move like you did, I KNOW how it feels when a job doesn't turn out like you planned. I am presently unemployed myself. I am working some temp jobs and hope to find something soon. Anyone have a nice LEGIT internet job I can do? Whatever you decide to do, Mickey will love you where ever you go, and so will we.

Sandi

[WOTANSMUTTI]

Hey Jan!

Glad you're back!Sorry you seem to be in a slump. I think moving in the first place to TX,getting a new job,home and dog was a brave move in the first instance.

I also think, that if you are unhappy, you have the right to make more choices to what you want to do and where you want to live.

Yes, and there will be Mickey http://dachsie.org/ubb/bounce.gif when you get home from whatever job, Whereverville you are moving to next.

[This message has been edited by WOTANSMUTTI (edited April 27, 2000).]

[Owen's Mom]

Jan!
Bow to the pressure and move to San Diego to be with your family. Owen and Mickey can hang out during the day, then neither of them will be lonely while their parents work http://dachsie.org/ubb/hapfac01.gif And, I'm sure we can find you an apt. or cottage in San Diego where you can have a dog. I actually kind of snuck http://dachsie.org/ubb/biggrin.gif Owen in, but I figured everyone else in my little 3-plex had a pet, why not me?

Put your resume out on Monster.com and see what kind of hits you get from around the country. I'm not sure what your occupation is, but if it has ANYTHING to do with IT, you'll get about 50 hits and 30 emails within 24 hrs!

~~Amy & Owen http://dachsie.org/ubb/facelick.gif~~

[georgette]

Hi Ocken,
So nice to have you back and yes we missed you. I agree that you never sounded settled in Texas. Now are you able to decide whether you'd prefer to be in NJ or in San Diego? Talk about a little difference there. I mean do you have close friends & family in NJ or are they kind of casual? If they're close, you might feel better in NJ. Even with your family SD could feel distant.
Whatever you decide is fine. Let me know if you decide on NJ & I can help you from here. Bridgewater is north/central NJ so northeast NJ is VERY close. If you want I'll send you my address & phone number. (I'll even spring for the calls to save you a few bucks.) Hey maybe we'll have another buddy at our northeast Dachsie Day (see special events) on Aug 5.
georgette from north/central NJ!

[wireweiners]

I can relate to your problem, Jan. When I first graduated from law school, I took a job in a corporation in Iowa. I never really fit in and was miserable although I did make a lot of great doggy friends. I moved back to Arkansas close to my family and took a job as a child welfare attorney. I don't make as much money as I did in Iowa but I am much happier. I live in the country, have room for the dogs, have a horse and I feel like I am making a difference in children's lives rather than proofreading contracts for a bunch of fat cats.
Apartment hunting is hard but hang in there. Has Mickey gone to obedience school or have a CGC certificate? Is he crate trained? Sometimes it helps to make a doggy resume listing the training your dog has and references from people that know you and Mickey and know that you are responsible. A letter from your current landlord would help too. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smile.gif

[Penny's Aunt]

Also, if your boy is a non-problem, ask a prospective landlord if you could put down a good REFUNDABLE (in writing) dog deposit. A lot of them still won't accept a dog, but you only need ONE.

[Wienergal]

Jan, are you out there?? Jan, speak! What's the latest?

One more idea, maybe possible, maybe not. Is it time for you to BUY a place? A condo or a little house? Tax advantage AND no worries about whether you can have a dog or not. Many apartment buildings here in Chicago don't allow dogs, but most of the condo buildings do. I guess the worry with dogs is property damage, because plenty of apartment buildings DO allow cats, and for my money, if I were a landlord, I sure wouldn't want to have to deal with the forever-lingering smells left by spraying male cats and litter boxes that aren't changed often enough. http://dachsie.org/ubb/sick.gif

[isobelsmom]

I tried to find a house to rent out here in ohio with seven dogs . . . .OMG, what a nightmare. I had rented my previous house and the owners were selling it and I didn't like the neighborhood enough to buy there. I finally bought this old house (90 yrs +/-) and this city doesn't have a dog limit. http://dachsie.org/ubb/hapfac01.gif

Jan, I'm sorry things didn't work out where you're at. Sometimes that's for the best. I didn't like it here at first (it's a llooonnnggg story) and it's taken me 5 years to really call it home and make a good strong network of friends and such. I hate my job but really like the area (people actually--I'm not overly fond of ohio) so I think I'll stay. Although I would love to go back to Wisconsin. I miss the beauty of it and the cows and cheese.

Keep us posted on how you're doing and please don't feel like a failure . . . you do what you need to do for you and all the rest will come.

mary

[Mickey Ocken]

Wow! Thanks for all the suggestions and well wishes! Sorry for not being able to post more often, but my old boss is trying to get this going and I am trying to not go to fast with my decision... I feel like i jumped into the decision to move down here too quickly and dont want to make the same mistake again.

There are so many little problems (some bigger than others) like my parents moving to San Diego with my sister, me wanting to go back to NJ but will miss my parents and sis, me disliking the job here in TX but I signed a 3 year deal that means i will have to pay back relocation costs, breaking my current lease, etc.. The list goes on.

I know that my family (parents and sis, rest of family still in NJ) will be upset that I dont at least try CA. But moving is such a nightmare, and I dont want to be stuck here for another 2 years till the contract is up.

Well, I wont go on and on about the problems I am having too much. Sorry about that. hehe

I may buy a condo (depending how much I can afford - NJ is expensive) after I get settled in NJ and know my expenses...

As for Mickey, he is doing real well. He has had like one accident in the past month or more, and that was when a friend of mine stopped by and Mickey was playing like a madman. He loves everyone!!! And all other dogs too! He's my little maniac! hehe

He just fell asleep next to me in his little bed. what a cutey! He weighs about 11 pounds now (was 7.8 2-3 months ago).

One question.. He seems to have lost all his baby teeth except one. I think one of his fang teeth grew ahead of his baby tooth a little and it didnt push it out. I am going to call the vet tomorrow to find out what to do.

Has anyone else had this problem? Is it cause for concern?

Also, if I move to NJ, I was thinking of driving with Mickey instead of flying. Is this a good idea? I just cant see him being calm on the plane. He goes nuts in his travel crate when other people are around sometimes... He just wants to play!

Thanks again for listening to me!

Jan

[Krista]

Jan,

Good luck with all of your decisions.

As for the teeth thing, it is pretty common for pups to retain thier baby canines even after their adult ones grow in. Rudy retained both baby canines and we had them pulled when he was getting neutered -it was only $10 more since he was already having surgery. I know some people leave them in until they cause problems, but I'd say if you plan on neutering him, have it pulled then.

[Wienergal]

Boy, Jan--sounds like you have TOO many options! Tough to make a decision http://dachsie.org/ubb/eek.gif. Good luck!

It's great to hear how well Mickey is coming along! Gee, a dachsie who loves all other dogs... I can't imagine it, try as I might! http://dachsie.org/ubb/wink.gif

As to the car trip, does Mickey show any signs of car sickness when he's in the car? If not, I'd say drive and enjoy it! Peaches and Farfel have gone on many road trips with me, and it's lots of fun. A surprising number of motels allow dogs, and there are plenty of doggy rest stops on the highways. I've never flown with either of mine, because they'd have to go in cargo. I know people do it all the time, so I assume it's safe, but...I just couldn't. http://dachsie.org/ubb/frown.gif

[Penny's Aunt]

For traveling with dogs, check out http://wwwpetswelcome.com for motels/hotels that accept them. There is also a book of the same name (quite new, should be able to order it).

[Mickey Ocken]

Thanks for the tips and suggestions. I have decided to take the job back in NJ. My parents wished that I would have gone to San Diego, but I signed a contract with the parent company for coming down to TX for 3 years of which 1 is up. So it was either 3 years in NJ or 2 more in TX. So off I go.

Its all happening quick and looks like they will put me up in corporate housing till I find a place of my own for 2 months.

Talk to you soon.

Thanks again!