Need Advice about Bus Stop

[quavec]

Our house sits on the corner of an intersection. The bus stops right at the stop sign. We have to have the kids out there by 630. He is very punctual. My dilemma is this. A lady down the road brings her granddaughter to the bus stop. Lately, she has told her to come onto our front porch. I dont mind this, however, I prefer that the little girl knock on the door and come sit inside w/us. I have approached the grandmother and she is very adamant that the little girl not come inside. I would understand her caution except she leaves (grandmother) to go to work right after the little girl gets on my porch. She literally drops her off and drives away. I worry that the little girl will either wander off or be snatched. We live in a decent area but you never know. I much prefer her to come inside where I can see her better. I am scared of something happening to her. I don't want to stop her from sitting there waiting for the bus but really feel uncomfortable w/her on the porch. I don't want the grandmother to just leave her at the bus stop either. She is trying to help out her daughter (girl's mother) who is having a hard time w/her kids. Apparently she has quite a few. I would think that she would welcome us letting her granddaughter come inside. I have told her it is not a problem. What should I do?

[blueyezz74]

The little girl is on your property, right? Well, tell the grandmother that you are uncomfortable about her being on your property without your knowledge. In case anything happens, you are responsible for that little girl. It sounds like she's leaving her granddaughter in your care by letting her sit on "YOUR" porch. If she gets hurt on your property, granny can sue you.

Maybe you need to approach her again.

[Orchid Crazy]

Ewww, sticky situation. How well do you know htese people? I would talk to the mother and express your concerns. I would feel the same way. It's like Granny is giving you the responsibility to watch over the child, yet she won't give you the ability to do it properly. Call mom, express your concerns, invite her over to talk, meet with you whatever it takes to get her to feel comfortable with you. That is, if you feel comfortable doing this. If she won't let the girl come inside with you and sit waiting for the bus, I wouldn't let her on the property. Donna is right, if she is on your property and gets hurt, you could be held liable. Hard nowadays to show compassion to people cuz you just never know when someone is going to stab you in the back. It doesn't make you stop helping others, just makes you try to be smarter when you do. Let us know how you make out!

[SirOliversMom]

Oh this is a problem and Donna is right it's on your property and you are responsible and you could be sued. It's sad but it's the world we live in. Could you get the mother's name and phone number and contact her? How old is this little girl? If she is really young and you can't get ahold of her mother then I would suggest you contact your child welfare agency someone needs to be waiting with her until she's safely on the bus.

[quavec]

The little girl is in kindergarten. She is very sweet. Just sits on the chair on the porch until she hears the garage door open (that's the door we come out of). Then she walks w/us the the end of the driveway and we wait for the bus. The other kids (only one other family) sit in their parent's vehicle at the stop sign. Our road isn't paved so the busses come to the end of the street (main road) and most parents drive the the stop and wait. My daughter is 7 and I don't think I will let her go to the stop alone until she reaches 15 or so. I am worried about being sued also. We don't need that. I just hate to come off mean. Which I am sure how she will take it. As for the mother, I don't think she would be too concerned if you catch my meaning. According to the grandmother, she pretty much isn't concerned much w/any of her kids. I am thinking that I will have to sic my husband on her. He was a part time police officer for the neighboring town and he might be able to make the grandmother understand. I really don't mind the little girl coming over. I would just be more comfortable w/her INSIDE my home. She drops her off at 610 and the bus doesn't get there until 630. I don't know how she can do it. :faint:

[Me&DappledDuo]

It sounds like things must be very stressful for her- she's trying to do what she can for her granddaughter, but she's probably acting emotionally rather than rationally.

People who have deep problems in their families are often very embarrassed. She's likely afraid that her granddaughter will share things with you if she becomes closer to your family. She's trying to keep her granddaughter safe- but keep her distant, too. :(

Befriending Grandma, or appealing to her better senses- you simply MUST be able to monitor a child on your property- and insist that she at LEAST walk her to your door so you can say "hi" and know she's there.

How friendly is the child? Does she talk to you- is she outgoing, clean/healthy and seem cheery? If she's really withdrawn or extremely shy- her grandmother's desire to keep her from communicating with you could be a red flag of more insidious problems at home. Just at thought. :(

[quavec]

The grandmother is very nice. But the 2 times she has actually brought the little girl (I can't remember her name) to the busstop, I have told her to let me allow her inside. She refuses. I will have my husband talk w/her. They live across the street behind another lot (none of the empty ones are cleared). The 2 conversations I have w/her, she seems very concerned about her granddaughter going to school. Wants to make sure she goes each day etc. I think the other grandchildren don't go regularly and they live in the town that I work in (30 miles away). I offered to pick up applications to the morning and afterschool (we use the afterschool) programs for her but she said she doesn't want her in them. My husband is very good w/everyone he talks with. Puts everyone at ease. Even me. I always come across too harsh or direct when I try to talk to people face to face. I will give him the task of speaking to the grandmother. And yes, Chrissie, the little girl is very shy and quiet but only around grownups it seems. She and my daughter get along great. They gab like magpies each morning. Oh to be able to function that well before coffee! Hey, I am thinking I should maybe have her over during the day one weekend to play. Have the grandmother over for coffee etc. Maybe that will put her at ease. Not very good at that kind of thing when I don't know someone, but I guess how else will I get to know her, right?

Thanks for all of your help. Oh and yes, she is always VERY well dressed. Hair always neat ~ wish I could say the same for my daughter ~ never can get those pony tails straight :blush:

[Juneysmom]

I agree with everyone else about being on your property unsupervised by you. One thing you can do is one morning, when she brings her granddaughter over, you can come out and say, "Your granddaughter's hair is so beautiful, but I can't seem to do my daughter's hair very well. Would you be willing to come in and show me?" The compliment, coupled with the possible desire to help you might break the ice. That time, though, don't talk about having the granddaughter come in, yet. Once she is inside, let her see how comfortable it is, then let her say yes.

[blueyezz74]

If your daughter and the girl are friendly, maybe you can invite the girl over sometime to play with your daughter and have the grandmother come to check things out.

She sounds like she's very concerned for the girl but she sounds like she's being too cautious.

Maybe your nice husband in his police uniform can over some assistance. People tend to believe nice policemen. :D