Daddy went to Italy without us (a rant- please forgive)

[Anatresia]

This is kind of whiny and selfish and I apologize in advance, but I need to vent.

Paul was asked to fly to Italy to inspect leather from the tanneries his work orders from. They gave him less than two weeks advance notice. Italy is the number one place on Earth I want to visit, but of course, me being a teacher, I was not able to take time off with such short notice to go with him although he offered. He left this morning and returns next Saturday. I'm so bummed. He told me to keep remembering all of the cool stuff he'll buy for me there, but it's no consolation. I am, as always, worried about his flight and moping in my own jealousy over him seeing Italy without me. It was my dream and he didn't want to go there- even for our honeymoon in July, he wants to do a cruise over the trip to Italy I had tried to plan. And when he travels somewhere with work, he never wants to go back with me, because he's already seen it and had his way paid. So basically, I can count Italy off the list of achievable things. And he hates travel, to make my jealousy worse. All he did all week was complain about having to go to Italy.

He has such a great job that he got straight of high school that allows him to travel the world and I have a graduate degree that got me a job where literally just yesterday a student beat the crap out of a teacher and was taken out in handcuffs with the teacher's hair and blood on her hands. And we make the same amount of money. It just feels so unfair that the art teacher sits at home while the warehouse manager is going to tour Roman ruins and see beautiful art and architecture all week. (And yes, he has a lot of time off while he's there- it's not all business.)

I'm just bummed, I know. I like my life, I usually like my job- I'm immensely proud of my students' artwork, but I'm feeling disappointed big time right now. This year has been rough- I've had a student pull a knife on another one in class, fist fights somewhere in the building every day and now this teacher beating. It's depressing. And when I drove Paul to the airport today, I found myself in a dark place.

The dachshunds on the page and my own two real life babies are helpful in cheering oneself up, but any words of encouragement are appreciated. Again, sorry to sound so selfish.

[Courtknee]

Tracy, don't deny your feelings, it's ok to be disappointed and angry as long as you can release it eventually. As I get older I realize how unfair life can be, but sometimes, there's not much you can do about it. There are things you can't control and dwelling on them won't help. Maybe you can talk to your fiance and tell him all this (if you haven't already) and then maybe he will be more open to honeymooning there. And just maybe he will love it and want to go back!!

You are also obviously going to be a strong force in your students' lives - I admire that!

Hang in there! :hugs1: from me and doxie kisses from Napoleon!

[LUVMYGUNNER]

Big AZ rays :rayz: :rayz: :rayz: for you so you will feel better. Also hugs :hug2: from me and Gunner.

[svofcols]

Hi Honey,
Don't be upset over being upset! If that makes any sense! My husband lives and breathes Notre Dame football. It has been my biggest wish to take him to the campus for a football game. Last summer my sister in law informs me that the rdaio station that she works for is covering the Notre Dame/WSU footbal game at ND. Not only has she gotten a ticket to the game for him, she has press box passes. The kicker? I'm NOT invited. Since the day we got married, we have never traveled without one another. 14 months later I am still bitter and resentful that I wasn't even consulted about being there. So she couldn't get me a ticket? I could have gone and shopped while he went to the game. I could have been there to share what was an extremely emotionally pleasing day for him. Instead I was several hundred miles away at home sulking. To this day he has no clue to my true feelings. I would never have spoiled that wonderful day for him. I will always resent her for this. Just a bit of history to perhaps make the point - we get along fine - we live 3,500 miles apart - but whenever we get together there is always a problem. She is a dominance/control freak who can't understand that little brother now has a wife - every trip we go on together ends up a nightmare with us saying never again! Of course never day never!
The point to my little story, you have a right to be upset - your dream trip has possibly been put off. The bright side - you have a wonderful man who WILL bring you lots of neat stuff for us all to drool over!
PS - My 22 yr old daughter is in school to become a teacher. You have my undying respect for your job choice. Your kids are lucky to have you!
Sandi

[lotsadox]

Everyone's right. You have every right to your feelings, both positive and negative. I used to deny my feelings because I didn't want to upset others. No more. If something makes me feel bad, I admit it. I even tell people. How can the way you feel about something be wrong? Don't ever let anyone tell you that your feelings are wrong. It's just their way of belittling you.

As far as the whiny rant, we all have them and understand them. That's one of the most wonderful things about this board, we're here for you whenever you need us.

[Courtknee]

As I get older I realize how unfair life can be, but sometimes, there's not much you can do about it. There are things you can't control and dwelling on them won't help.


Okay reading over this it seems like I was being snippy but I am not! I have every ounce of sympathy for you Tracy! I was typing those sentences and started thinking of my mom, and how she freaks out/gets upset about EVERYTHING! It drives me crazy! Sorry it was my own little rant haha!!

[Chapo's Mom]

you have right your feelings, especially if he has a history of it. I'd still try to make plans to go. I see why he would deny you this one time! It's a dream trip! Tell him you'll have a better time TOGETHER than a business trip.

[FOREVER A DAXIE]

I would be whining too!!

Of course it's natural to be envious and why not? If my husband went somewhere that spectacular without me I'd be pouting! No if's and or but's about it!!

Now for your job as a teacher....OUCH. This is why my daughter attends an ALL GIRLS SCHOOL with a Uniform!! Kilt, Tie, White Starched shirt - the whole bit!!

ZERO tolerance for EVERYTHING! They even have regular Uniform Inspections! NO talking back etc.

I hope the kid (90% likely a Boy) was thrown out of school permanently! I feel too many of the out of control kids get way too many chances.

[Kim H.]

And that is what this forum is for... good things, bad things, RANTS. :)

My husband has always traveled for work, and I've rarely been able to go. I'm a pharmacist and have to ask for vacation well ahead of time, too.

It is kind of nice that we live in Florida now - usually he would rather stay here than travel somewhere with cold, snow, etc. :sunny: He is the one who HATES the cold. :lol:

I think the thing that would be the most frustrating for me is the fact that Paul doesn't want to go back there with you once he's been :huh:. I would think he would love to show you around. In fact, if he ever tried it, he probably would love it!

If going to Italy is very important to you... maybe you could save up for a trip in the future with someone else who appreciates it - a close friend or a mom or sister or someone?

[Tammara]

Wow. You are certainly allowed to vent here! Teaching used to make me vent regularly! I was a teacher for 18 years, so I can relate to that. Nice thing is...although you can't get off for this trip, you have vacation time, so some other trip will come up and you will be able to go. (I'm now a receptionist with only 10 days vacation all year.)
Italy is beautiful, and I got to go on my honeymoon there, (all the man's idea, probably figured he'd never have to pay for it!) and since my man had no money management skills, and was a "beeraholic," who drank his way through the country, the trip cost me about $15,000 and I was still paying for it when we divorced! Best part, the leather, and gold I still have.
If Paul really does refuse to go back to a place he's been, you might check out those tours that teachers and students can go on. I have a friend who has travelled all over that way. She left her guy at home, and did girl trips. Not for everyone, but something to consider.
Nowadays I'd much rather take trips in the US with my (last) husband, and be able to PAY for them. And yes, I get jealous that he gets to travel without me, and he now gets 6 weeks of PAID vacation to my two, but unfortunately, life isn't fair. He's earned them.
I think it will be a good idea for you to continue to tell Paul how you feel, especially before you get married, but check out the gifts first!

[SirOliversMom]

Tracy you are allowed to vent, you are allowed to feel sorry for yourself and you are allowed to post it here on the board. Poor you, how disappointing for you not to be able to go. Especially when the room is paid for and so on. On top of that you have the stress of dealing with the violence going on in your school !
Hang in there! One of these days it WILL be your turn!