Please help!

[Mutzie's Mom]

My beautiful, long-haired dachshund, Mutzie passed away yesterday. She was 16 1/2 years old and my whole family is devastated. We weren't expecting this. I got her on my 10th birthday (1985!). She was my playmate, my comforter, my child and my children's playmate. She was everything to us! She was a very active member of our family and we treated her like our child. The hurt is so bad today. I have been crying for 2 days now. My 3 year old daughter told me that Mutzie was okay because she was with Jesus and he would take care of her. She is much stronger than I am.

I just wanted to share this with other dachshund lovers! I don't know what I am going to do. : (

Sherry

[dutchman]

Sherry,
Here are some rescources that you might find helpful

http://www.petloss.com/
Rainbow Bridge Poem (http://www.petloss.com/poems/maingrp/rainbowb.htm)

I can't find my link for my favorite Rainbow Bridge Web site right now but the words mean more than the pictures. Visit one of the many Rainbow Bridge web sites and read the poem to your daughter. It pretty much agrees with what she has told you. If you feel up to it do a web search on Rainbow Bridge and you will find many sites. The sad stories at some of the sites many add to your tears but even those may help comfort you.

Another link you can check out is The Argus Institute (http://www.cvmbs.colostate.edu/changes/) This is a program at the Vet Teaching Hospital at Colorado State University. When I talked to the head of the program about a year ago she stated they would do a one time phone cionsultation with people from otuside the area and try to help in what ever way they could. They have been trying to build a list of resources available across teh county to help people deal with pet loss.

Don't worry about the tears let them come in time they will lessen. Some day perhaps soon perhaps a long time from now a new little face will pop into your life to help mend that broken heart you have right now. For now just try to remeber all the good times you must have had together.

Tom

[wiporwil]

Sherry,
I am so sorry to hear about Mutzie. We had our first dachshund for 19 1/2 years and we too were devastated. We also treated him like our child. No matter what age they leave us for Rainbow bridge it is never easy. To know that they are at the bridge made it a bit easier because they are happy and at peace and are waiting for you. It has been over a year now and we do have another dachshund who has helped us in our grieveing. His name is Willie and we thank him every day that he is with us. When you feel up to it his website is www.willieshouse.com (http://www.willieshouse.com) . We also have a page to tribute our beloved Kritter.My husband,son, and i were left with emptiness when he passed. It is amazing how such a small animal can give so much of themselves and touch our lives forever. They love unconditionaly and you will always have the greatest memories. My prayers are with you and your family.

Denise

[dutchman]

I've sent a copy of this to Sherry in case she doesn't make it back but I'm also posting it here for everyone else who has ever lost a dear companion. And yes my boys give me concerned looks when I shed a tear or two remembering how I received these poems after loosing Aggie.

Tom

Letter From The Bridge

To my dearest friends and family, some things I'd like to say.
But first of all, to let you know, that I arrived okay.

I'm writing this from heaven. Here I dwell with God above.
Here, there's no more tears of sadness; Here is just eternal love.

Please do not be unhappy just because I'm out of sight.
Remember that I am with you every morning, noon and night.

That day I had to leave you when my life on earth was through.
God picked me up and hugged me and He said, "I welcome you.

It's good to have you back again, you were missed while you were gone.
As for your friends and family, They'll be here later on.

I need you here badly, you're part of my plan.
There's so much that we have to do, to help our mortal man.

God gave me a list of things, that he wished for me to do.
And foremost on the list, was to watch and care for you.

And when you lie in bed at night the day's chores put to flight.
God and I are closest to you....in the middle of the night.

When you think of my life on earth, and all those loving years.
Because you are only human, they are bound to bring you tears.

But do not be afraid to cry: it does relieve the pain.
Remember there would be no flowers, unless there was some rain.

I wish that I could tell you all that God has planned.
If I were to tell you, you wouldn't understand.

But one thing is for certain, though my life on earth is o'er.
I'm closer to you now, than I ever was before.

There are many rocky roads ahead of you and many hills to climb;
But together we can do it by taking one day at a time.

It was always my philosophy and I'd like it for you too;
That as you give unto the world, the world will give to you.

If you can help somebody who's in sorrow and pain;
Then you can say to God at night......"My day was not in vain."

And now I am contented....that my life was worthwhile.
Knowing as I passed along the way I made somebody smile.

So if you meet somebody who is sad and feeling low;
Just lend a hand to pick him up, as on your way you go.

When you're walking down the street and you've got me on your mind;
I'm walking in your footsteps only half a step behind.

And when it's time for you to go....from that body to be free.
Remember you're not going.....you're coming here to me.

** Author Not Known **

[Rusty's mom]

I'm so sorry to hear about Mutzie. I'm glad that she had you to love and share her life with for so many years. It's so hard when we lose a loved one. Please remember that we are here for you and take care of yourself. Keep in touch.

Kathy - mom to Rusty, Duffer and Hobbs

[Mutzie's Mom]

Thank you all so much for your support! Bill (my husband) and I are feeling so much guilt and pain right now. Mutzie was a present for my 10th birthday. She was my playmate. When I was a teen, she was my rock, my best friend. When I got married, I thought she'd be jealous of Bill. Wrong! She wanted him all to herself and was jealous of me! She was our baby. Then, we had children. Mutzie started fading into the background and took a back seat. She was always so loving and gentle with the kids. We took her for granted. We just assumed she'd always be there for us. She was getting old and didn't demand as much from us. Unfortunately, we were so wrapped up in our active babies, that we sometimes forgot her. She'd drift upstairs for a nap or go to the corner. We were told a few years ago that her heart wasn't very strong. She should stay out of the heat and drink lots of water. We watered her usually 5 times a day. We thought we were doing the right thing. We didn't take her to the vet for about 2 years. Time just got away from us. A few weeks ago, we started noticing her heart pounding through her fur. She was panting pretty hard. Then, on Wednesday night, she couldn't rest her beak on the ground. She had her beak in the air and panted. She couldn't sleep. She wouldn't eat or drink. We took her to a new vet (the old one was callous and greeted her with "Are you still around?" when we took her to him.) on Thursday morning. After 5 hours of tests and X rays, the vet told us that she had an enlarged heart and her lungs were full of fluid. Her tracchea was pushed up against her spine, which is why her beak was in the air. She was getting as much oxygen as she possibly could. She said that she had pnemonia and congestive heart failure. She kept telling us that if we'd brought her in years ago, we wouldn't have this problem. As if we didn't feel bad enough. We felt like criminals. This was our baby that we cherished! She gave us pills to give her and said if we could clear up this pnemonia, we had a shot of keeping her a couple more years. That's all she had to say. Bill and I were convinced we could save her! During the visit, Mutz kept taking me to the door and wanting to go outside. When we'd go outside, she'd face the road. She knew her way home and wanted to get there. We scooped her up and took her home. We were in the house less than a half hour and she layed down for the first time in a couple days. She comfortably rested her beak on the carpet, just like she always did. We tried to start her medication and she stumbled toward Bill. Her eyes started fluttering and her heart stopped beating. She died in his arms. He gave her CPR and she came back twice and then she gave up. Now we're consumed with guilt. We feel horrible and negligent. I can hardly breathe thinking about her. We can't stop crying and beating ourselves up. Has anyone else felt this guilt? I feel like the worst parent in the world. She was our precious baby and we killed her. She was so long suffering and patient and loving. It hurts so much to have lost that.

[dutchman]

One thing we all have to learn in life is not to play the WHAT IF game no matter how appealing it may be. It resolves nothing and only increases our heartbreak. I have one ot two what ifs I have to try and avoid concerning the loss of my little girl Aggie. Yes from a pet first aid class I took I know the beek up position you talk of is a sign of one of two things either breathing distress or possible neck or back injury. Also from my first aid class they told us the suscess rate for mall animal CPR is rather low. I have to wonder if the vet really felt there was a good chance of survival I would of thought they would have recommended keeping her there and placing her in an oxygen cabinet to make her breathing easier. At least she was home surrounded by those she loved when her time came. By dachshund standards she was a very senior citizen.

Try not to dwell on the bad thimes but instead remember all the joy she brought into your life. You know our little friends she loved you and wouldn't want to to stay sad too long. If she was still with you she would be trying to lick your tears away.

Tom

[Rosalyn]

Mutzie's Mom,
Wow what a great joy of life you have had. Remember and cherish all the very good times with your dear sweet Mutzie. And I too believe that she is in heaven with Jesus. You have done all that you could of done for her. I know because you said she IS your baby. And that means that you would not of done anything to harm her. So take those thoughts out of your head. Because, guess what those thoughts are not from your heart. And that is what counts. The care and devotion that you and your family have given her. And the returned devotion that she has given you. Wow, what a joy to say that you have had all that time. That is very GREAT. And not to be taken lightly, that she has lived and loved for as long as that. What an honour for you to cherish. You are blessed to of had your sweet Mutzie for that long. Now remember that this is a new season in your life. And it is very hard to accept it. But, change does happen. Keep looking at all the good times. And keep her pictures out, and keep her in your heart. You are not to be blamed for our changing seasons and our tests in life to better equip us for the rough stuff. Thanks to your hubby and kids too! They will help to keep Mutzie right where she already is, In Your Heart. And the tears may come for a long many years for this is a very special baby. I have had many a dog. And now that we have lost our first dachshund as of 3-13-01. He was ten years old and I still cry. Even when I hold my new baby. They are not a replacement, either. Just a little something to soften the empty hole in your heart. Take time with your kids every day to laugh about all the funny stuff she did. That will help everybody.

[Heidismom]

Mutsie's mom - I, too, am sorry for your loss, but as others have said, you cannot play that old "what if..." game. I have been around dachsies since I was 2 years old. My very first dachsie had the back trouble at age 9 and was euthanized. We later found out that vet did not really likk treating small animals, so.... I could play the game and think, "what if I'd gone to another vet..." but it happened, I dealt with the sorrow, and now I remember all the cute things my Fritz-Angel did - he would play ball until he had to crawl to his water dish (no, he was never forced to play that long!), he would "sing" on command, he would pretend to hate my sister's cat until the night I sneaked downstairs to watch a late movie and caught them snuggled togethr, sleeping... Please concentrate on your wonderful memories, and yes, I am sure she was peaceful crossing the Bridge because she was home where she obviously wanted to be! Julia B., Gretl, Siglen, Brekke, and fermerly Fritz-Angel and Heidi-Angel

[Mutzie's Mom]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. We are still trying to deal with the loss of Mutzie. We found a breeder in our state. We are hoping to become "parents" again by June. Mutzie would have been 17 on June 14th. We are hoping to get a black/tan long haired miniature. Mutzie was red with a black overlay. She was the most beautiful dog I've ever seen. It looked like God painted her markings on her, they were so perfect. It does help to remember the good times we had and there were millions. I just miss her walking under my feet to get petted. I really miss her in the kitchen. I had the cleanest floors! My baby would throw his leftovers to Mutzie from his high chair. I am having a difficult time breaking him of that! We called Mutzie our personal vacuum. She kept my floors so nice! We are starting to get excited about the possibility of having a little puppy in our home...especially a dachsie!!!

Thanks again for your kind words!
Sherry

[crock]

Mutzie's Mom,
I am so sorry for your loss. I had my first dachsie when I was 4 (she was 4 too, from the pound) We lost her at 16. Now I am 53 and I just lost my Stretch a couple of weeks ago to cancer. I didn't know he had it until it was too late and I asked myself what if. But I realize the what if wouldn't have help him. It is so empty even though we have 3 other dachsies. He is at the bridge waiting as is Mutzie waiting for you. You might what to go to the Dachshund Memorial Garden site and leave a memorial for her. Although I always cry when I go there, it also helps me to know there is a memorial for my guys and to see the love other people have for their "kids".
Charlotte

[dutchman]

Hi Sherry,

I was just re reading this thread and am happy to see that you are starting to feel better and are thinking of looking for another little companion. Besides all the great memories of the times you had with Mutzie just think how few people can remember any of the presents they got for their tenth birthday. You will never forget Mutzie and you will never forget that birthday. What a great gift you were given that day. Feel free to post stories of you adventures with Mutzie and let us know when you do get that new addition to your family. Also when you start looking or after you get your addition let us know if you have any questions.

Tom

[Mutzie's Mom]

My husband and I are getting through this together. It is great that we both have memories with Mutzie and we both share the sorrow and good times. We are looking to add on to the family in June, when I am done teaching. I want to be able to devote all my time to puppy training. I remember how difficult that was. Mutzie was so stubborn and played the dumb act so well. She out smarted all of us! She was a stinker! The name on her papers is "Floppsie Danielle." My dad started calling her Mutz, so we all did! Bill and I decided to call our next dachsie Madison Danielle for a girl or Maxwell Daniel...both in honor of Mutzie. I really wanted Millicent, but Bill wouldn't go for it. We're also thinking about Benjamin for a boy. I love the thought of giving my dachshund a human name because to me they are human!

Where do I post stories about Mutzie? She was hysterical! It might help me in my sadness. I told my husband I'm going to need grief counseling. I still cry every day. I feel like I lost a child.

Our vet did send us a sympathy card and she wrote a note in it saying that she could tell how much we loved our Mutzie. She wished things would have worked out better. I thought that was nice. I guess I jumped to conclusions when I thought she thought my husband and I were criminals for not getting Mutzie in there sooner. I am slightly sensitive!

We'll let you know when we're getting our new baby!!

[crock]

I'm so glad to hear you are thinking of a new addition. Mutzie sounds like she was a real character. You can post in the Dachsie Tales forum about her. We all love to hear stories about what our "kids" do.
Good Luck
Charlotte

[dutchman]

The Dachsie Tales forum would be the best place to post your stories. It sounds like you making a good start dealing with your grief. I just purchased a copy of the text book "The Human Animal Bond and Grief" that is co authored by the head of the Grief Center at the Colorado State VTH. The Vet program here requires class teaching vet students how to recognize and help their paitents human companions. No I'm not a vet student but I like to try and stay well informed on many different subjects. I'll list the basic steps on how to help yourself with grief listed in the book. I think I remember seeing these steps before perhaps in a general psychology class:
1. Give yourself permission to grieve
2. Rest-Relax-Exercise
3. Surround yourself with people who understand
4. Educate yiourself about the grief process
5. Acknowledge your feelings
6. Allow yourself small pleasures
7. Be patient with yourself
8. Give yourself permission to backslide
9. Seek professional assistance if necessary
10. Get in touch with your higher power
11. Identify what has helped you in the past

I know you are already doing items 1, 3, and 5 between working with your family and finding this board. The people here really do understand and care. I know it helped me when I lost my little girl Aggie.

I think the steps may be listed and explained on one of the pages at the Argus Institute (at the CSU VTH). I included a link to their site in my reply to your first message here.

If you don't already know any good dachshund breeders in your area it's not too soon to start doing some research. The good breeders are already planning those puppies who will be ready for homes in June. Many of the members here can point you to list of things to consider when looking for a breeder. If there is a kennel club in your area they may be able to help you locate a good breeder. Even if you don't want to go the rescue route the dachshund rescue people in your area may know breeders that are good or ones to avoid.

Best wishes,

Tom and the boys (Frank and Tanner)

[Mom of Freddie and FG]

Hi Sherry,

I want to let you know that I've been reading about Mutzie (and the other dachsies as well) and it pains me. I know what it is like losing your devoted furkid. Looking back at how we unintentionally neglected our dachshund years ago, it hurts very much. We simply did not realize things back then. My parents decided it was best for Fritzi to be PTS. That was in 1981. 21 years later, I still cry at times.

Right now things seem unbearable to you. It will get better with time, but you'll have your moments through the years. It never goes away but it does get easier.

Tom has been great with giving info, and just knowing exactly how you feel, as he certainly can relate with losing his Aggie. Everyone is different with grieving and the amount it takes.

The Dachsie Tales section here is a great place to share your stories.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/smile.gif It sounds like Mutzie was a typical stubborn dachsie!http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/biggrin.gif

Good luck with your search for a new baby. Just take your time. Keep us posted.

Susan

[Mutzie's Mom]

Hi, Everyone! I am almost back to my cheerful self. We buried Mutzie on Saturday in the back yard. It is so cold here, that we were able to keep her in her fiberglass sealed casket until a couple days ago when the temperatures went above freezing. Then, we had to burry her. My dad and husband built an amazing wood casing that protects the fiberglass casket. We are digging her back up in the spring to take her to our family's summer house in Maryland. It was Mutzie's favorite place to go. She was the top dog there and also the smallest. She went fishing, swimming, hunting, and exploring there. It will be her final resting spot. We're having a memorial etched for her.

I am moving on and getting excited about the possibility of a new little one. Mutzie will always be so special to me, but I need another one. I love being greeted with kisses and I love being attacked when I walk in the door. I miss that so much. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to look for in a new long haired miniature dachshund? We want to rescue one, but we have 2 very small children and were told it wasn't best for us. We have many breeders in our area. I've been e-mailing one for a week. I would appreciate any advice.

Thanks so much!
Sherry

[dutchman]

You might want to post to the adoption/rescue forum that you will soon be looking for a new little companion. Basically just restate what you have in the last paragraph of your last message adding you need a list of things to look for in a breeder. You will most likely get some good suggestions as far as what to look for in a breeder. For example a good breeder will generally require you to sign a contract, they may want references with information like who your plan on using as a vet. Some rescues are fine with small children it just depends on their background. Most good rescue people try to screen the animals they place and won't want to place an animal in a home where there are potential problems.

Good luck,

Tom and the boys (Frank and Tanner)

[Mutzie's Mom]

I thought I was doing better until today. I am so sad! I have been putting off cleaning certain things that Mutzie left her mark on. Her pillow with doggie slobber and her smell and our furniture. Her pillow is still yucky and I hug it every night for comfort! I had to give in and clean the couches. She used to love to run inside after she'd gone potty out in the rain. She'd run through my legs and dash into the living room while I chased her with a warm towel. Then she'd wipe her beak, back and whole body along the bottoms of my couches. It was her little ritual that she'd been doing since she was a puppy. I had to vacuum up her beautiful red and black hair and wipe up the mess and scent she left behind. Now I am in tears. I thought things were going to get easier. We even found a nice breeder who has a sable long hair due. I just called a friend and I know she must think I'm crazy! She doesn't have any animals. No one understands. This baby was a part of my family. She was just like a child to me. This was the only place I knew that I could vent and people would understand. Thank you so much for your kindness and a place to voice your feelings.

Still Sad Sherry

[MARTHA]

I understand all too well how you feel. I have bad days too. Fritz has been gone for over 13 years, Mandy has been gone for 6 years... There are times when I think that I can hear them, smell them, reach for them...I guess I do, but it's in my heart where they will be forever.

It's time for me to go home and give my babies a kiss and a hug, they will make the day seem a little better.

Martha

[mardoniche]

Hi to mutzie's mom, how sorry I feel for you, but hopefully time will be a healer for you, that is all any of us who loses someone we love can hope for. I have recently lost my little choc min smooth, snoopy. He was only six weeks old, but I loved him so much. I feel that I let him down and this hurts sooo much. I bred him, he was born by c section along with his sister, chloe, who is still fit and well and so cute. But everytime I see her do something new or pick her up for a cuddle it reminds me of snoopy and what might have been. When snoopy was three weeks old I noticed that his breathing was faster than it should be and that his ribcage seemed flatter than normal. So I took him along to my vets. They examined him and told me that he had a deformed heart, it was on the wrong side of his body and that he had a PDA. He was put onto diuretics and booked in for xrays and a scan at six weeks. Oh how he suffered. He was unable to suckle from mom because he was struggling to breathe, I had to syringe milk and glucose to him every two hours. The drugs made no difference at all. I knew in my heart that it was his ribcage that was the problem but the vets would not listen. Anyway he struggled to live until he was five weeks old, he was so lovely, always wagging his tail when he saw me and boy could he give kisses, no matter how short of breath he was. On the last day I held him and I just knew he could not go on any longer, I took him to my vets and they agreed he was too weak for further treatment and so I had to watch while he quietly slipped away, he died as he lived with a wagging tail. The vets did an autopsy and found a perfectly normal heart. He had collapsed lungs from the pressure of a flat ribcage. I am so angry he ccould have been treated so easily with a plaster cast to his ribcage and would have lived a normal life. Why I did not stamp my feet and shout to get my way at the vets I do not know. If I had of he would be here now. I feel so guilty, so sad and so sorry for my little lad. People do not understand how much I loved him, they think that because I only had him for six weeks, it can't possibly hurt. How wrong they are. Dawn.

[Mom of Freddie and FG]

Dawn,

I'm so sorry this had to happen to a healthy puppy. May I ask, WHY did the Vet misdiagnose Snoopy's problem? For heaven sake, couldn't he tell that the heart was in the right place? This puzzles me. It's scary too when we put our trust in our Vet. Since he did an autopsy and realized he was wrong, can you sue him?

Was Snoopy born with a flattened rib cage or? Again, I feel for you.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/kfrown.gif Love is love and pain is pain, so don't let others tell you that it's silly.

Susan

[ryley and scratches]

hi I am sorry to hear of both your losses. I know what tis like to lose a pup having them long term and short. We recently (sept2001) got ryley and scratches 2 mini black and tans. Ryley was a runt at 3lbs and we had her 3weeks when she passed on . We had an autopsy done and she had a whole in her heart . Its hard to believe she was so spunky up until the morning she passed and it was so quick. She died too, in my husbands arms . He feels awful . The hardest thing was telling the kids! Time does heal and you never forget though no matter how long you had them in your life . Good things happened to us after that ,We told the breeder we got her from just to let her know and she had kept one of the pups herself. My husband walked in the door a few days later with that pup in his arms that she had selflessly given us and surprised the kids. We still miss Ry and talk about her often and that helps us all. Our thoughts are with you all!

[mardoniche]

Hi Susan and all, The vet diagnosed that his heart was on the wrong side as he could hear louder sounds on the right side. At the autopsy they found that his heart had been pushed to the right due to the chest compression. Also he did not have fluids on his lungs, they had collapsed due again to the compression not allowing them to expand. They disected his heart and it was completely normal. There was no PDA. I had listened to his heart before taking him to the vet and admit that it was more right sided, but I detected no murmur. The vet insisted that indeed there was a murmur. Of course they found out different. I have not even had an apology from this vet, and I have been a customer of theirs for the last sixteen years. I have now registered with a new vet. As for suing well I dont feel I want to go down that road, it is still so raw. I have had chloe, snoopy's sister vet checcked and she is 100% thankfully. If in the future I feel that I am right and a vet disagree's I will certainly not be fobbbed off, if only I had followed my gut feeling, but there, it is too late now.Dawn

[Mutzie's Mom]

My days aren't getting any easier. It is so hard to say goodbye to someone who watched me graduate from elementary school, was brave enough to venture out with me when I was learning to drive, watched me graduate from highschool, moped around my bedroom when I went off to college, saw me fall in love, and was there for the birth of my children. She was a part of me for over half my life. I don't know what to do without her. My heart is still heavy and I ache for her every day and night. How long does it take for the pain to go away? I've tried thinking about the fun we had, but it only makes me wish I had one more day with her. I would have done anything to have one more day with her. Her death was so sudden. We weren't expecting it. : (

I am so sorry to those of you who have lost your babies. I am hoping it will get easier. It hasn't been a month yet. I am still looking under furniture for her. On a lighter note, I've used my vacuum more these past few weeks than I ever have. I am used to dropping food or the kids dropping their food and Mutz was right there to clean it up. She was better and more thorough than any vacuum. My kitchen floor always sparkled when she was here...except for when she'd come in after making snow angel doggies in the snow! I would love to clean that mess up just one more time. It snowed really hard yesterday and I had no messy floor to clean. : ( Will it get easier? My husband and I are still moping around. I feel so empty without her. I know I'll never have another dachshund so sweet or so beautiful as her. It breaks my heart.

[mardoniche]

Hi again, it will get easier with time, and sadly we can't push a fast forward button. You will have your bad days, but in time you will have more good days than bad. In time your memories will make you smile not cry. I feel so badly for you but there is nothing anyone can do or really even say to you. Every one has to go through their grief, there is no magic formula, I wish there was. Five years ago my daughter lost her horse, he was everything to her a true soul mate. It took her a long time to start to remember him with out the heartbreak. It was many months before she would even allow another horse into his stable. She still misses him and often see's him in her dreams. He is always stood in a field looking at her but she can never get to touch him. I think that is because he is in the summer land and that he is waiting for her. When it is her time to go then she will be with him, that will her time to hold him again. She just has to wait. Your little one is now free from her earthly body, but she is still with you where it counts, in your heart. You too will be with her again, when the time is right. Just try to hold on to all the joy and love that she gave you, and you her. She is fine where she is, it is only her physical presence that is not with you, her spirit will always be with you, nothing nor time will ever change that, I wish you well and hope you soon find your peace, much love from me and all my little dachsies Dawn

[Mom of Freddie and FG]

Sherry,

Both you and Dawn are grieving right now and feeling guilt. No two people are alike in just HOW long it takes before things get better. It may be a while for you, and that is OK.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/smile.gif Like Dawn said, you will have bad days, but in time they will lessen. As time goes on, you may suddenly have a dark day. That is perfectly normal.
In your case though, it is especially painful because Mutzie shared half your life with you. She was part of your big life's events. So it truly may take more time for you. The important thing is to let yourself grieve. There's no set time.

My friend's Boss's dog is dying of cancer. I guess there is hope, because they are going to start radiation treatments.
So we don't know which is worse, losing a pet slowly or suddenly. Suddenly has to be more of a shock without a doubt.

This isn't dog related, but I lost my Dad 2 years ago to cancer and it's still painful. I think about him everyday.
But, only true animal lovers will understand your loss. To us, they ARE our children.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/smile.gif So we're here for ya, we understand.

Hugs,
Susan