Kari
01-05-2006, 12:39 AM
This is actually an entry that I just typed for my LJ, but I felt it might be fitting to share here and to see what others think or if anyone else has had similar experiences. Corianne was "my" dog of our family's four dachsies, and she passed away from cancer in October. I'm at grad school in Ohio, so I couldn't be there when she was put to sleep which has been somewhat upsetting to me because I sort of felt like I should have been there, to say goodbye, hold her, pet her, something. I really can't even think about that day without tears welling up, even though I know she was very loved on that day, held my dad, and both he and mom were there when she went to the bridge. I guess the reason I feel so bad is not only because I couldn't be there but that I didn't even get to see her at all in the last few months of her life. She was too old for me to take her with me because all she had known was life with the other three, so we figured it would be too upsetting for her. But I hate that I didn't even get to say goodbye. :( Anyway, now that I've rambled on, here's the journal entry:
I had a very odd dream last night. Actually it was sometime this morning between when the lady at Ace woke me up and when I actually got up at noon. But anyway, I dreamed that while I was at home, my dog, who had to be put to sleep a few days after my birthday, appeared to me in some kind of spirit form. I was basically standing at the door and suddenly saw her out in the yard. I made mom come out there and although mom couldn't see her, she could see the mulch moving where Corie was digging. So she believed me. Then she turned around and went back in the house, I guess to let me be alone with Corie.
I had a little heart to heart with spirit Corie, during which I never referred to her by her name -- only as "sweetheart" or "sweetie." (Unusual because it was mom who called her those names, I always called her by her name, or Annie or Sissy.) Basically I was apologizing for having not been there when she got sick and subsequently passed away. She walked over to me and just looked at me. I tried to pet her but my hand went through her. Then I tried to pet Tyler, who was always Corie's snuggle buddy, and he yelped and jumped back. I wasn't sure why, but he did. I tried again and he did the same thing and ran away that time. Then Corie turned around to walk away and disappeared, but I could still hear her feet in the mulch and see that she was still "there," just not visible. I sat there for a few minutes more watching the mulch move around and then asked her if she could show herself to me again or if she was too tired, then I woke up.
I'm surprised I still remember it that vividly even more than 12 hours later, since I usually don't remember dreams that well beyond about the first 10 minutes after I wake up. I'm just sort of wondering what it means. Being as that I believe in spirits and ghosts and such things, I see this event at something that could have happened, even though it really didn't. Or maybe it did, on an unconscious level. Maybe Corie's spirit was visiting me this morning because she knew I had something to say to her. I don't know. There's got to be some kind of meaning there though. I'm sure Tyler's involvement and his running away from me after I tried to touch Corie probably has some kind of meaning to, though I'm not sure what.
I guess I need a really good dream interpreter or something. Although I know I'll never find one and I'll never really know what this dream means. I just wanted to type it out before I did forget it. And since I'll probably never know what it really means, I'll just believe that I was, on some level, talking to Corie last night.
I had a very odd dream last night. Actually it was sometime this morning between when the lady at Ace woke me up and when I actually got up at noon. But anyway, I dreamed that while I was at home, my dog, who had to be put to sleep a few days after my birthday, appeared to me in some kind of spirit form. I was basically standing at the door and suddenly saw her out in the yard. I made mom come out there and although mom couldn't see her, she could see the mulch moving where Corie was digging. So she believed me. Then she turned around and went back in the house, I guess to let me be alone with Corie.
I had a little heart to heart with spirit Corie, during which I never referred to her by her name -- only as "sweetheart" or "sweetie." (Unusual because it was mom who called her those names, I always called her by her name, or Annie or Sissy.) Basically I was apologizing for having not been there when she got sick and subsequently passed away. She walked over to me and just looked at me. I tried to pet her but my hand went through her. Then I tried to pet Tyler, who was always Corie's snuggle buddy, and he yelped and jumped back. I wasn't sure why, but he did. I tried again and he did the same thing and ran away that time. Then Corie turned around to walk away and disappeared, but I could still hear her feet in the mulch and see that she was still "there," just not visible. I sat there for a few minutes more watching the mulch move around and then asked her if she could show herself to me again or if she was too tired, then I woke up.
I'm surprised I still remember it that vividly even more than 12 hours later, since I usually don't remember dreams that well beyond about the first 10 minutes after I wake up. I'm just sort of wondering what it means. Being as that I believe in spirits and ghosts and such things, I see this event at something that could have happened, even though it really didn't. Or maybe it did, on an unconscious level. Maybe Corie's spirit was visiting me this morning because she knew I had something to say to her. I don't know. There's got to be some kind of meaning there though. I'm sure Tyler's involvement and his running away from me after I tried to touch Corie probably has some kind of meaning to, though I'm not sure what.
I guess I need a really good dream interpreter or something. Although I know I'll never find one and I'll never really know what this dream means. I just wanted to type it out before I did forget it. And since I'll probably never know what it really means, I'll just believe that I was, on some level, talking to Corie last night.