DWD-Super-encrypted Secret Com.Ctr. #7

[Mark]

00K9 here . . .

Attention Agents: By now you have all received, memorized and eaten the code for this new communication center . . . it's time to start using it because Intel reports hoomans eavesdropping in the last Comctr.

Agent Bowler: You play trumpet? Cool! Good work on creating the petrol crisis . . . our strategy in the US is to make it so expensive - no one can afford go anywhere - and it's working! We have been especially successful in Michigan with prices nearing the $2.00 per gallon mark. What's a Mega Hairy?

Agent Squeak (aka: Tongue Dragger) - We appreciate you licks for the cause! Your resolve about the evil Sloogs is heartening . . . keep up the good work!

Agents Bouncer & Hugger: No good on the rain . . . I repeat, NO Good on the Rain. It will not be moved from it's current and ongoing course over Michigan. Find other means of achieving coolness! You have turned Agent Lollipop into a real asset for the DWD . . . good work!

Agent OU812 has (as usual) been spending a lot of time on patrol in Istanbul in preparation for a part he hopes to land in the new production, "It Was a Foggy Night In Istanbul". I, 00K9 am also hoping for a role and in preparation have let the hoomans complete my Hair-strippy stuff. Now I feel lighter and cooler with just my soft red undercoat showing.

00K9 - out & nearnaked (in case needed for a nude scene, but only if artistically done)

Sloogs suck!

[WOTANSMUTTI]

<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm11.gif" border=0> Agent Minimuscle reporting in.

Glad to see OOK9 is operative again. Patrol over the slime-o streets of Istanbul is a necessity at this time. Beware of hot dachsies sporting compacts...

Mom Hooman has been spending a lot of time on the 'puter. Even when I try to crawl ontop of the desk to L@@K into her eyes- she has repelled my hypnotic stare and keeps tipping on "this $#%%^&* script that NO one appreciates!"<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm25.gif" border=0>

Dad Hooman came home with some spy bribes- nummy lucious bones of a beef persuasion!I think the "grilly" thing is coming out tonight! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif

Agents:WARNING! I feel this "Istanbul" show is driving a wedge in our organization! Several sources have revealed that our people are vying for top spots and are undermiming others out of the way with hefty bribes from food to $$$$...

Very Important: On my travels late last night I encountered a sloog. It was not large, but where there's one...you know the rest.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0>
Agent MM over and outside to roll in the dead birdy<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm32.gif" border=0>

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by WOTANSMUTTI on September 17, 2000 at 04:35 PM</font>

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost reporting in. Went to a possible DWD recruits house last night. Mom hooman tagged along. She had to drive as I am too short to reach the pedals so I let her come in the house with me. Anyway, this possible recruit is called a Dall-my-shun and is a medium height spotted thing. Any relation to you OU812? Do you need a girlfiend---maybe cozying up to her will bring her to our side . . . cuz she has the most wonderful <FONT COLOR="Yellow">FOOD ARRANGEMENT!!!!!</FONT c> it makes me wanna cry http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/crying.gif over our paltry nibbly items.

She has what is called FREE FEED! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif Do you understand what that is fellow agents?
The food bowl is always
<FONT COLOR="Red">FULL</FONT c> Mom hooman busted me several times worshiping at this bowl of neverending kibble of the gods. I was beside myself with awe. Think of the power we would have if we had an on-going supply of food . . . .we would never weaken from hunger ever again!

We must get her on our side and discover the power she has over her hooman slaves! OU812? Are you up for a mission of interigation?

Agent Ghost out

I'm dre-eeee-eaming of fuuuuull foood bowl. Just like the oooone I used to knoooooow.

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in to the Com. site. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Agent OOK9, glad you set this one up, the other one was uh, kinda full and I felt might not be secure. Still want some rain cause the grass isn't very green any more.

Agent Minimuscle, Agent Hugger did so want to lick some of those envelopes and I wanted to get a casting call for a slightly overweight wire-type girl. Can we say pleasingly plump?
Agent Ghost, that is the free-feeding problem. Agent Lover, Hugger, and I do it all the time, but HooMom is threatening to remove the feeder (even though it is full of low-cal stuff). It is pretty cool. You just go up and eat whenever you want, but ...

Our new Foster Agent is pretty whipped today. She made a trip to the "Room" yesterday and is very stiff and sore -- musta been the shots. At any rate, she is not stealing laps tonight... mainly sleeping and worrying about her brother agent. When he gets out of the "Room" place, we will have them select agent names, but she is pretty wiped out tonight.

Gotta go check the BIM bath for TRIMS... they've been hanging out there getting water.
http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[Mark]

Pssst . . . 00K9 here,

Agent Minimuscle you make some good points about that awesome play. Dadhooman must like it cuz he copies each episode into a secret Word Dah-Cue-Munt. He says that when he's done he'll have a really cool & complete story. Agent OU812 and I, 00K9 have been trying to contact the casting director and are willing to work for free (under our other names, of course). I hope the play continues for the good of the DWD! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/cool.gif

Agent Ghost: The food thingy is a hooman trap to make Dachsies so-o-o fat we can't move. Use extreme caution! We have seen these traps in Dachsmark and in Wireland, North Dachskota and even in Dachsington DC. I talked to OU812 about the Doll-my-shun . . . he'll think it over, but may not be open to a new relationship because of pressing matters in Istanbul. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/dizzy.gif

Agent Bouncer: Sorry bout the rain . . . it has even stopped here.

Attention All Agents: We have 3 new AIT's (Agents in Training. Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi are their names and the first order of business is to get them code names and administer the DWD oath. We will need input from everyone for this transition. Welcome to our new Cadets!

00K9 - out & about (to pee, so I'm going to Istanbul)

[WOTANSMUTTI]

<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm11.gif" border=0>
Agent OOK9- Hit a sloog while you're in old Istanbul. The world will thank you...

Agent Minimuscle<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm3.gif" border=0>

[Mark]

Whew! 00K9 here and I barely made it out of Istanbul slimeless!

There I was . . . sloogs to the left . . . sloogs to the right . . . sloogs in front and behind . . . when out of nowhere OU812 comes sailing over a 6' tall stretch of foliage. He bayed and growled and they all slithered away as though being chased by a salt shaker!

Well . . . maybe it didn't happen "just" that way! If you leave out the part about sloogs it's all true, though! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/lol.gif Even secret Agents have to have a sense of humor! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/spotting.gif

00K9 - daydreaming again & out

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

Originally posted by Mark:

Attention All Agents: We have 3 new AIT's (Agents in Training. Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi are their names and the first order of business is to get them code names and administer the DWD oath. We will need input from everyone for this transition. Welcome to our new Cadets!


<FONT COLOR="yellow">How does one get code names Gaudi has whispered to me?(right before he plunged under the covers for bed)</FONT c>http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/blue02.gif

[Mark]

Pssst . . . 00K9 here,

Attention AIT's:
Code names are self assigned. Many of the code names relate to the specific agent . . . for example one agent is Agent Bootscooter which probably comes from scooting their itchy butt on the floor. Agent Minimuscle = small muscles, etc. So just make up some Agent names, report them here with tales of daily missions. Are there any evil spys like sloogs in your area? Or helltoads, groudhoggies, skwirrils, etc.?

00K9 - brief and out http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/cool.gif

slimy slithering sloogs suck so salt 'em!

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost reporting . . .

We have problems here in the Heartland, my fellow agents! Seems like the sloogs have been replaced with multitudes of HellToads! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm4.gif" border=0>

The pits and I have been trying to rid the area of these vile creatures . . . but, no such luck. I have been herding them by nipping at their heels (hmmm, do helltoads have heels?) and driving them to the pits for them to take out. Mamahooman didn't raise no fool! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm2.gif" border=0> I ain't dumb enough to put these delicate agent lips upon their foul hides. Unfortunately, the pits are not graced with as many brains as they have muscles . . .that's why I'm in charge. The pits pick them up and then spit them out . . .they just do not learn that the helltoads don't like that. Any way to keep the foul beasties from poopin' in the pits mouths? We must rid the area of these things and the normal way is not working! The HellToads are truly from hell! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm7.gif" border=0>

I need your help fellow agents to put down this insurrection of evil beings from the nether regions . . .mamahooman tosses them over the fence and the little buggers just keep comin' back. The pits are goin' crazy trying to do their job! And their breath would knock over an emu! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0>

HELP!!!!!!

Agent Ghost out and looking for a gas mask

the toads are poopin' . . .and poopin'

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in. Haven't seen any Hell Toadies or sloogies since it stopped raining here. Send rain and I will take on all Hell Toadies. I bark really load right next to them and they run (hop) rapidly away. Mom Hooman says I have the world's loudest bark, but it is what I do: eat, sleep, bark, play, tease other agents ... My foster mom from the rescue group told mom hooman that I am activity director.

Got some bad news about our 2 foster agents we broke out of jail, they have something called heartworms so they may go to another foster home (the one I came from) where they are experienced with such things. At any rate, mom hooman told me to be a little quieter around them and not to stir them up so much cause they tire out easily. Guess I will try, but it is hard when you are a street bouncer like me. She did say we might get a foster who could play and run on Saturday. Bouncer, slightly depressed, but recovering... http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[wireweiners]

Jr. Agent, D'Whoppa reporting in. We haven't reported much lately as its been too hot down here for much DWD activity. Its hard to work up enthusiasm for taking over the world when its 110 outside. However it has cooled down to 90 for the past couple of weeks so we have increased our covert operations.

The cooler weather seems to have adversely affected our momhooman's brain. Last weekend she got out all the dragons, the floor dragon, the spitting floor dragon, and that most evil of all the dragons, the toenail dragon! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm23.gif" border=0> The toenail dragon is a horrible little beast that makes a high pitched whining noise and eats your toenails. <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm24.gif" border=0> We were all subjected to it but I am proud to say, none of us divulged any DWD secrets. Then we were banished to the yard while mom played with the floor dragons. After she was finished we were imprisoned in our room while mom rode the hard footed grass eating dog. Agent Speckled Pup went with her and returned smelling delightfully of dead cow and pond scum. That is until mom attacked her with the Filthy Animal shampoo. Now she smells like Tea tree oil.

We had another run in with the armored dillar. We fooled mom into thinking we had to go out at 2 am. As we went out the door, Speckled Pup went for the dillar and chased it right toward us. It almost ran between mom's legs. We were lunging and barking and encircling mom to protect her from the raging dillar. Mom kept trying to get out of the protective circle of our leashes around her legs, so we had to keep running around her. The next day, the dillar had taken refuge a hole in the big cactus patch next to our fence, so he could continue to spy upon our efforts. Agents Mata Hari and Backhoe barked until the dillar was overcome with fear and left the territory. Another victory for DWD agents over the enemy spy!

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa out and back.

The 'diller digs diligently.

[Dukey's Mom]

Psst..PEST here!

Jeez, have a couple of martini's and a few days off and all the agents move! Fine, where were you guys when I needed help from that dreaded woodchuck! The Fremont agents have been fighting it bark and bark!

I am pooped...

The flowers are stinky!

PEST out and low!

[Tanya]

Agent Gaudi...since you like to plunge under the cover, you could call yourself Agent Plunger or something like that. BTW, this is Agent Bootscooter, and yes, I got my name by dragging my itchy butt on the floor (anal glands, you know). The rain has been a pouring here in Georgia lately. I was forced by dad hooman to go pee in the rain....me...in the rain! I was so put out! But I showed them I did! I ran my legs as fast as they could go in from the rain and ran straight for the bed and rolled my wet body all over it!! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bad-boy.gif He he he!

I also scored a licious treat...a vanilla creme poptart that the 2' tall human dropped.
My mom hates this as there is chocolate in this poptart, but it is yummy to me!

Agent Bouncer, sorry about your fosters and the HW problems. My mommy has helped Agents with HW and they all came through it ok. The DWD will say a prayer for the fosters.

Gotta go sneek some yummies.
Agent Bootscooter - Out

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

<FONT COLOR="Yellow">Thanks for the suggestion for names for our agents in training Agent Bootscooter. It is a good one. I think it best to ask our noble dachshunds what they would most like to have as an agent's name as Mark has let us know that the agents themselves, in their great dachsie wisdom, pick their own names. I did go and try and find our 3 noble ones to ask them, but I found they were on the moon (as you can see) <IMG SRC="http://members.aol.com/_ht_a/Oceandoxie/doxmoon.JPG" border=0>and it will be awhile before they make it back home and can inform me of their decision. I must say from reading some of the agents adventures here that there are many fearless and true dachsie agents at work
throughout the world. </FONT c>

[Mark]

Pssst, 00K9 here,

Wow!!!!! A secret Moon mission! We got the coolest Agents! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/cool.gif

Agent Bootscooter: Can you tell us where to get one of those 2 foot tall hoomans? We could really use some help in the "scoring goodies" department.

Agent Pest: We did not, I repeat . . . DID NOT receive your distress call about the woodchuck invasion. Can we still help? Agent OU812 is aching for a little one on one action with a dreaded woodchuck.

Agent D'Whoppa: It's good to see you are surviving the heat down there. Clearly another hooman trick to stifle the good works of the DWD! OU812 sends his best to Agent Speckled Pup and would LOVE to make it down there and help with the armored dillars someday! Yeah, go figure those hooMoms, ya give them a protective circle of leashes and they squirm out . . . harumph! Hoomans! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/blah.gif

Agent Bouncer: I am sorry to hear about the foster Agents and hope they will be OK. Helltoads are relentless and, to our knowledge there is NO WAY to control their bodily functions once in the mouth . . . approach only with extreme prejudice! We need to find a better way to get rid of them . . . hoodaddy keeps taking a really big one out of the long rain collector coming down from the roof . . . tosses it over the fence . . . and, like you, it keeps finding it's way back the the RC. Any Agent with a successful detoading story . . . please tell us how you did it!

00K9 - end transmission

Two toads aren't as good as none ~



<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Mark on September 22, 2000 at 01:58 PM</font>

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer here. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Thanks for all the wishes for our fosters. They are going to go live with my old foster mom tomorrow, since she knows all about heartworm treatment. In the meantime, they are fat and happy at my house (hoomom has been feeding them all the good foods twice a day -- not fair, but they were really skinny, so I guess it was okay). I've snagged some really good leftovers from them and am, shall we say, a bit over plump? I have briefed them about DWD, so that they might go out and become real agents when they become well. Besides, they can spread the word at my old foster mom's house, where she sometimes has as many as 18 potential agents! I have developed a new trick to please the humans. I like to roll over on my back and have them hold my legs and spin me on the wood floor. It is soo great! I beg them to do it some more with a really great L@@K. One of Hoomom's students tried it... and it is just too cool... well Hugger and Lover know I am crazy now, but I don't have any other trouble to get into, so it is "Spin the Bouncer."
Bouncer spinning out... http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

<FONT COLOR="Orange">Well, Wotan, Shakti and Gaudi have finally arrived home from the moon. And before they collapsed asleep in our bed http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/snooze.gifthey informed me of their decisions about the names they will assume as agents for DWD.
As they want to reveal their true nature to all fellow DWD agents they have chosen names that suit their inner beings. Wotan has selected Agent Hunter, Shakti will be Agent Dominatrix and Gaudi has wisely picked Agent Chowhound. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/angry.gif They are now prepared to do battle against whatever dark forces exist in this galaxy that might hinder dachshunds anywhere.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/grrr.gif</FONT c>

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc on September 24, 2000 at 05:47 AM</font>

[Mark]

Welcome Agents Hunter, Dominatrix (hmmm) http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/smile.gif and Chowhound from Agents OU812, DB and I, 00K9. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/wavey.gif

Pray tell of some of your exploits against such evils as floor dragons and the like . . . or of dangerous missions to swipe some yummies. Do your hoomans ever submit you to the tortures of (gulp) the Room of Doom?

It has been raining again in Istanbul so our adventures have been limited to the house. Hoodaddy was cutting some raw veggies yesterday, so naturally we all parked around him and stuff started falling off the counter! Well, wham! We all got a share of onions and tomatoes. I think hoodaddy planned it though . . . Agent DB and I, 00K9 got the same amount and Agent OU812 got more cuz he's sooooooooo much bigger than us. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/dizzy.gif

Gotta go now and take a nap,

00K9 - out & dozy

Sleeping dogs lie . . .

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost reporting to welcome all new agents to the DWD. Hello and welcome Agents Chowhound, Hunter and Dominatrix . . . (we need to chat, honey <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm6.gif" border=0> ).

Things have been quiet in the Heartland until last night. Momhooman is watching three new DWD recruits and their homebase has been overrun by SLOOOOOGS! Upon our return here we found the same. Momhooman says it's cuz it's so hoomid and rainy here that the sloogs are coming out again. The Helltoads have backed off a bit--I think they finally realize that Sophie-pitbaby is acquiring a taste for Helltoad flesh.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0> Well, whatever works!

It's raining and hoomid again today so DWD activity will be at low ebb. Agent Ghost out and napping . . .

The fat is in the fire . . . yum! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by isobelsmom on September 24, 2000 at 08:19 AM</font>

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Welcome to the new agents! Interesting names...

Looks like our fosters will be staying and may have a chance to become DWD agents. My old foster mom has her hands full with a potential agent who is having seizures so they are staying here for now. Will go to the "room" tomorrow for a full check up before the heartworm treatment. Don't know how active they can be in DWD until that is over. Will report in when I know more.

It is humid here, but no rain... caught another TRIM (tree rodent in making for new agents) trying to drink from the BIM (birdies in making) bath. I ran fast, but made too much noise... Next time ... Bouncer will prevail. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[Meeka]

Agent Lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif and agent SWT checking into the new comsite.

Something is afoot here. The hooman parents made a tunnel in the wall of the house and put a plas-tic door on it. They now expect us to open the door ourselves!!! DHooman had to build ramps on either side of the tunnel for me to make it through. It is soooo high so agent SWT can go through. She is one of those Dal-may-shuns, your know. I guess it will make it easier to patrol the "wilds" without the hoomans knowing when we go out!
But it is getting cold out there and I can see the entire parameter from the back of Mhoomans chair.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm5.gif" border=0> One of Mhoomans big hard hoofed grass eating dogs died! Could it be a plot? Could we be next? Mhooman said it was just very old and it was its time. I'm not so sure. What do you fellow agents think?<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm18.gif" border=0>

Agents Lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif and SWT signing off.

the door is never closed

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Mark:
[B]Welcome Agents Hunter, Dominatrix (hmmm) http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/smile.gif and Chowhound from Agents OU812, DB and I, 00K9.
Pray tell of some of your exploits against such evils as floor dragons and the like . . . or of dangerous missions to swipe some yummies. Do your hoomans ever submit you to the tortures of (gulp) the Room of Doom?
<FONT COLOR="Yellow">Thank you for the welcome Agents OU812, DB, OOK9 and Agent Ghost and Agent Bouncer. Sloogs http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bad-boy.gifwe certainly know about being as we reside in Washington state which seems overrun with big flat black sloogs. We see many of their evil faces in what they call "the garden" on those tomatoes. We hate those tomatoes (one of the few things Agent Chowhound will not eat) so we leave those sloogs alone to devour the red putrid fruits (ugh to sloogs and tomatoes). This island we live on has no TRIMS! That makes us sadhttp://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/sad.gif Agent Dominatrix says her #1 nemesis is TRIMS. When we lived in Oregon she used to sit on her royal cat seat on the window frame and watch for devil TRIMS in the walnut trees. They would have the audacity to appear in the branches right above her royal seat!!! The human who works for us used to let us out then and Agent Dominatrix would climb those trees and bite the TRIMS toes until they fled in sheer terror! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/caffeine.gif Agent Hunter sadly replies to the above question from Agent OOK9 that his human's have taken him far too many times to the Room of Doom. In this house the word "doctor" cannot even be spoken in front of Agent Hunter. Agent Hunter survived a long nasty stay in the Room of Doom almost a year ago...you can see the details at Wotan's recovery page: triumph of a doxie (http://members.nbci.com/dachsielove/surgery.htm) And lastly, Agent Chowhound asks "What are Helltoads....and can I eat them??"</FONT c>

[Jennifer]

New Agent Reporting for Duty.... I have been given code name Agent Snugglebug. Any advice for a new agent?

I'm been reading over momhomans shoulder and am very excited about the DWD. Looks like I'm going to have some time on my hands coming up. Went to the room last week and Dr. Dread told my new momhoman that I have something called heartworms. Must be pretty serious cuz momhoman started crying. So, next week I have to go back to the room and stay there for three days. Then when I get home I have to be really quiet for six whole weeks. Not real happy bout all this. So, I'm not going to be able to help in the battle agains slugs and toads for a bit. And those evil dragons. I really hate the yard dragon. But when I get better, watch out toads!!! We have a ton of then, And pretty scared about going back to the room. So, I've decided to pass my time by learning to be an agent for the DWD.

All in all. Pretty happy with my new life. Momhoman and dadhoman rescued me from jail. Now, that's an awful place, with all that barking. Guy next to me drove me nuts. Now I've got a nice warm homan bed to sleep in and two new brothers. One brother is a dachsie so I'm going to try to recruit him. Momhoman says he's blind. Not sure what that means but he bumps into stuff all the time.

Over and Out...

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Welcome to Agent Snugglebug. Sorry about the heartworms. My two foster agents (they have now taken the oath) are Agent Cool Dude (aka Pablo) and Agent Missy (aka Kibby). They are at the doctor's now going through x-rays and blood tests to see how to get rid of the heartworms. Meanwhile Agent Cool Dude scored a BIM last night. Hugger got some feathers to decorate the house with. We finally had RAIN! Cool Dude kept hoomom busy cleaning up after him because he prefered not to be in the rain. Bad timing with a room visit today!

Glad to hear of the exploits of our other new agents. Watch out for the hell toadies.
Bouncer out. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[isobelsmom]

Agent Chowhound----I, Agent Ghost, would not suggest eating the Helltoads. Even tho Sophie-pitbaby is trying to acquire a taste for their flesh, it's the poopin' in the mouth that makes her a little cranky and queasy! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0> I have not figured out a way to drive them off to keep them from spying on our actions and such. The pitbabies do try, but I somehow think that eating them is not the answer.

The sloogs and Helltoads are gone for now as it is very chilly and rainy here now. The hoomidity is down so the sloogs have slunk back to their slimy hovels . . .

Agent Ghost out as there is serious napping to do . . . .

The butter is flying . . . right into my mouth <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm35.gif" border=0> Yum!

[wireweiners]

Jr. Agent, DaWhoppa here reporting for the Rivendell agents. Welcome to all the new agents. Agent Snugglebug, Speckledpup's mom had heartworm treatment a couple of years ago and came through just fine. The new treatments aren't as bad as the old one but they can make you cough a lot. The secret is to be quiet, take lots of naps, and make the hoomans wait on you hand and foot. The Rivendell agents sent lots of rayz your way.

Just when we had vanquished the armored diller and thought it was safe to go back to the yard, we were invaded by turtles. Agent Backhoe did his best to crack the turtle but it just retreated into a shell. We are positive that the turtle is an agent of the hoomans since our hoomom came and dragged Backhoe away from the turtle. I ran in to take up the interrogation. This made Backhoe mad so he growled at me to "Back off, kid." I growled back that "I'm not a kid, I'm 16 in dog years and I don't have to take orders from an old fart like you." Then mom stepped in and told me to watch my mouth and respect my elders. Hmmph!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm23.gif" border=0>

We finally got some rain so Mom is not so worried about some fool throwing a cigarette butt out into the field and burning down our house. It is also cooled down a lot. Mom has started talking about field trials. These are special places where they have fields full of bunnies all fenced in for us dachsies to chase http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif Mom says we will go to Mississippi in November for the 1st one of the season. Meanwhile Agent Fuzzylips and I have been practicing on the cat. For all you Michigan Agents, there is a field trial in Michigan in October. If you are interested, e-mail my mom and she will get you the details.

Talleyho!
Agent De'Whoppa, out and back

The rabbits are in the brush.

[dutchman]

What a differece a day makes, Agents Sunday and Silver Fox reporting in from a semi white Colorado. Last Sunday we were suffering with the temperature at 95 and this Sunday we woke to find our yard covered with eight inches of snow.

Agent Longtail just can't control himself in this white stuff. I Silver Fox could live without it. The tail bounds from one spot to another trying to find untrampled snow to play in. He even was playing king of the hill with the snow piles when we went out at 5:30 this morning. Today it's sunny and 55 with almost all the snow disappearing.

Dad spent a lot of time yesterday cutting up limbs that came down from some of the trees in the common areas of our town homes. Our little Charlie Brown tree in our front yard looked kind of sad yesterday morning all bent over but dad shook it off and it popped back upright.

Longtail thinks it would be great to make our next escape attempt the next time it snows. I say we would be too easy to track plus I don't like ice balls hanging from my privates.

The joys and the pains of a Colorado winter you never know it you will be sunning yourself looking for some shade or burrowing in under the covers with your hooman trying to keep warm. You can go from one to the other is less than a day.

Making yellow holes in the snow while we still can agents Loingtail and Silver Fox down and out.

[Dukey's Mom]

Pssttt...PEST here!

Jeez, can't get near the puter lately mom has been hogging it!

I hope cats don't rule the world now, that would be stinky!

Lots of activity at the Fremont division, strange agents in and out, a couple have stayed and we are trying to recruit them.

Now, we are still battling Dachshund Enemy # One...the dreaded woodchuck!

He is a spy, through and through, we know it! We can't get rid of him though. You would have thought that we would have broken his ear drummies by now!

We did have one great mission. Agent Maggie caught a snake, mom was so happy that she couldn't stop jumping up and down and yelling!

The bees are bummers

PEST out and low!

[TessieMom]

This is Agent Hugger reporting in... finally got Bouncer away from the puter so I can say hi to the new agents too. Agent Pest, I hope your new agents get better soon. Ours are still at the doctor's office, but there are crates set up everywhere for them when they come home.

I can't believe we finally got rain... it was great... a big black birdie fell out of the sky. Bye, bye birdie... when HooMom got up the next morning I had decorated the yard and the house with feathers (she did find the head, but that was it). I should change my name to Huntress too. First TRIMS and now a BIG BLACK BIRDIE! Let me at the woodchuckie, the hell toadies, the wabbits, snakies too.

Before she went to the doctor's, new Agent Missy took on the floor dragon. She barked until it went back into its den. Agent Cool Dude just sat there and watched. We should have named him Agent Stud, but he is gonna have that fixed after the heartwormies.

Agent Hugger out to look for more birdies! Hey, whatever happened to my BIM helmet? What about the jerky? Didn't someone promise jerky?
<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm37.gif" border=0>

[LisaH]

Agent Mink reporting. I have scored beef! Mom and Dad went to some place called Outback Steakhouse and brought home tons of beef in a magic container! They try to torture me at first by only breathing at me, but eventually I break them down with the force of my personality and make them give me the real thing. Seek out the Outback Steakhouse, comrades! It is the source of our truest strength and solace.

[WOTANSMUTTI]

<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm3.gif" border=0>Agent Minimuscle reporting back from rescuing a demented writer from the nefarious forces that be...

It's been a long week. I was resting around my olympic sized swimming pool with my Baywatch dachsie babes, ice cold milky-brew in my paw when the phone rang.

It was Headquarters giving me a secret assignment to retrieve a silly hooman that had gotten too close to the truth (which Is Still Out There) and I was supposed to use all possible means to get her back from her abducters.

Sigh. The Babes understood as I put down my drink on a monogramed coaster and changed into my mask. Hoomans are deceptively easy to confuse and cannot recognize even each other most of the time, so I wasn't afraid that this Hooman who knows me well would figure out it was I- Minimuscle come to her aide.

With some technical and scientific ploys, I managed quite easily on my assignment and reminded the Writer to finish what she had started.

Back to the Baywatch Babes ( I dooo like those silver dapples...) and another hitch around the pool. Hey, whose got the remote? The X-File reruns are on...

Oh! Out again, MM

[Mark]

00K9 here,

Gotta talk fast because Agents DB, OU812 and I, 00K9 have discovered a NEW THREAT to the DWD & their hoomans.

Hoodad was cleaning the Hole 4 Fire in the living room . . . he went to the cave where they keep the Time Machines (they call them Cars) and when he came back there was a strange looking creature attached to his hand that had a clear snout as long as it's body . . . I'm not kidding! And then he pointed it's nose into the dirty stuff in front of the "Hole" and all of a sudden it started roaring like it was devouring his hand. Well, the 3 of us charged and barked (OU812 bayed) and saved hoodad. This Hand Dragon went back into the Cave and has been silent since! I think we scared it pretty good. The weird thing is that all the dirty stuff was gone, so we figured when it could't have hoodad's hand it ate the dirt. WHEW! Have any other Agents run into a Hand Dragon?

Gotta go now . . . Istanbul and the Cave must be patrolled by all 3 of us now.

00K9 - dragonslayer

[WOTANSMUTTI]

<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm3.gif" border=0>OOK9!

I haven't seen one such dragon as you have reported but there are smaller ones that only blow hot air at your head while making a terrible racket. I believe these must be the Hand Dragon's young b/c they haven't learned how to roar out yet...

I'm so glad that you and your small army were able to defeat that horrible thing.
I'm also convinced you are right about it eating dirt because it couldn't get Hooman flesh.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm28.gif" border=0>
If only WE could understand these dangerous marvels and control them for Dachshund purposes...<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm7.gif" border=0>

Agent Minimuscle

The chili is in the bean...

[Meeka]

Agents Lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif and SWT http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/heart.gif reporting in:

All is quite in the wilds of Wisconsin. The new wall tunnels works great for patroling the wilds. The furry tree rodents and the long eared hoppy rodents are staying away now that we can get out there in no time flat. SWT just missed one of the hoppy rodents the other day.

Agents lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif and SWT http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/heart.gif signing off

The bunnys hop repeat the bunnys hop

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Meeka on September 29, 2000 at 10:58 PM</font>

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Boy did I ever get behind! Agents Cool Dude and Missy are home, but confined to jail... don't know why, they seem okay. When they go on patrol, I sneak in and grab goodies from their cell... but HooMom catches me every time.

Agents Lollipop and SWT, good job on the hoppy rodent...send one here so I can see it, pullease? Agent Pest, watch out for that Woodchuckie! And, Jr. Agent D'Whoppa... tell me more of turtles. Are they really mean? I have heard that they can bite unsuspecting agents.

Agents OOK9, DB, and OU812 .. congratulations on the Hand Dragon mission. I agree with agent Minimuscle, perhaps we could control them?

Agents Silver Fox and Longtail, it sounds like you had serious weather! Agent Ghost, was your weather as bad as theirs? We did get rain, but it is hot and dry again. HooMom has been using the artificial rain again.

Agent Mink, tell me how to get HooMom to go to an "Outback." I have heard that there is one of those near PetsMart. HooMom did bring us bones again... time to go on patrol. Bouncer out to walk the jailed agents. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

<FONT COLOR="Pink">Agents in Training reporting in from an island somewhere out in the deep blue sea. Agent Dominatrix celebrated her 9th birthday today by chasing devil rodents that had hidden their evil selves under our human's woodpile. Agent Dominatrix is sad to inform you that she did not catch any of the vile rodents although she had one trapped for hours under the woodpile. She climbed the pile over and over and tried to move the logs but her paws are just not long enoughhttp://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/sad.gif Although she fell off the pile at one point she was fine and as always remained uninjured. Agent Hunter assisted her in this chase and assures you all that sooner or later he will bag this devil rodent just as he has many a devil rodent in the past. Agent Chowhound watched from the sidelines hoping some food would show up somehow. If any food shows up he will kill and devour it. Agents in Training..over and out.</FONT c>

[Mark]

PSSST . . . 00K9 here,

Agent Minimuscle: You and Agent Bouncer make a good point about trying to control some of these evil creatures. I, 00K9, tried to open negotiations with the Hand Dragon, but it must speak in a different language. There was no response and it never even moved. It just hung there upsidedown on the wall in the cave of Time Machines. Perhaps since they need hooman flesh they are too primitive to be of any use to us.

Agents Lollipop & SWT: We are all familiar with the TRIM's you mention, but have never seen a LEHR (long eared hoppy rodent). How (gulp) vicious are they. We will keep a watch vigil in case they attempt to infiltrate the Istanbul sector.

AIT's Chowhound, Hunter & Dominatrix: Good job on preventing a horrible attack by the wood rodent. Keep up the good work and you are well on your way establishing the stronghold the DWD needs so desperately in your area.

We have noticed a new phenomenon in Istanbul lately. It appears that the trees are losing their green fur in bits and pieces. That's not even the disturbing part . . . THEY ARE CHANGING COLOR!!!! We believe that the hoomans are behind this and they are up to something very devious.

If any Agents have faced this obvious threat to the DWD . . . Please advise! I repeat Please Advise ASAP!

00K9 - out of time and off to investigate the discarded Tree fur.

[wireweiners]

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa here. We have one of those hand dragons only its the kind that spits juice and then sucks it up. Mom brings it out when Jr. Agent Fuzzylips and I have "accidents" on the carpet. I won't tell you what that hand dragon does, it is just too disgusting.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0> But mom seems very fond of it.

Jr. Agent Fuzzylips and I have been practicing a magic trick in hopes of landing a part in "Istanbul". You know how the magician pulls a tablecloth off a table full of dishes without moving a dish? Well Fuzzylips and I are trying to pull the mat out from under the water bowl without spilling any water. We have not been successful so far and have created several floods in the kitchen and dog room. If we can't get our sleight of paw perfected, maybe we could provide special effects for disaster scenes. Gotta go now, Agent Backhoe wants to report and mom says I gotta respect my elders. <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm10.gif" border=0>

Agent Backhoe heah. It is most gratifyin' to heah of all the critters bein' chased, harrassed and dispatched by DWD members. Keep up the good work. I can give y'all advice about the long eared hoppy rodents. I have won prizes for chasing them. In fact, I don't mean to brag, but I am a champion LEHR chaser and have a certificate from AKC to prove it. I don't need a certificate to know it but Mom sets great store by such things. <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm41.gif" border=0> Agent K-9, tell your hoodad to take you to Addison, MI. There will be a whole pen full of LEHR's for chasin' and a whole bunch of dachsies to chase 'em. Its great fun. Agent Bouncer, I have heard rumors that there will be another one of these LEHR chasin' parties in Houston in December. Is that too far for you to come? The Rivendell unit of DWD is planning to go to Mississippi in November for a LEHR chasin' party. (The hoomans call 'em field trials).

About the turtle, they are cowards. They just go into their shells and won't come out and fight like a dog.

Agent Backhoe, out

A country dog can survive.

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif
Agent OOK9, I have seen the trees change colors and lose their fur here too. Do you really thing Hoomans can do this?

Agent Backhoe, I would like to get one of those LEHRs, but don't you have to have papers to get into those field things? Agent Hugger could get in, but my ancestry is somewhat questionable... I am wirey, but HooMom calls me a "rescue." I was put in jail at 10 months for wandering the streets by myself. Even Agent Lover didn't get her papers when she escaped from the breeder place... but Long Eared Hoppy Rodents sound really good! Junior Agent D'Whoppa, we have a BIG spitting-slurping floor dragoon, but I have never seen a hand eating version, perhaps we could control it? Junior Agent Fuzzylips, I will talk to all our agents about magic tricks. Do you think that would get us in the production?

Agent Bouncer, out to chew a new bone. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif

[Dolly's Mom]

Hawwo all Agents and Jr. Agents.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/wavey.gif
No we have not defected. That Mommy has just been keepin' a close eye on that there puter thingy and so we were mighty fearful to post in case we were 'scovered. All is well now and we have our mommy occupied so that we can safely come on board and transmit DWD secret messages. All has been mighty quiet around here since that Jumping Bean agent left. We have been keeping strict watch on the kittycats in the common area and have been singing along with all the fire trucks that go by. (HOWLING...that is!)
<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm2.gif" border=0> The Squeek came dangerously close to a trip to the room of doom. Mommy wasn't finding no poops from her and thought she was plugged. Little does she know, I have been cleaning up after my little sis. I am most efficient in keeping the patio free of Squeek debris. Well, mommy was happy finally to see Squeek do a poop and so the room of doom visit was cancelled. Then mommy swiped up the delacacy before I could get even one taste. <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm22.gif" border=0> Hurrrumph! Well, my true blue Agents, we are back and back for GOOD!

Wiggles and Tail wags,
Agents Grub and Squeek

True Blue to Thee....DWD!

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost reporting:

00K9, we here in the Heartland have the same problem with the trees. I don't have a clue why the hoomans would do this tho? What purpose could it serve them? At least the trees have stopped pooping on us here--if you uncover a motive for the hoomans denuding the trees, please pass it on. I'll keep an eye on it from my end . . .

LEHR's? Oh my! That does sound horrible, Agents? Where have these evil things arisen from? 00K9, is there secret mutation experiements going on in Istanbul that is not being shared with the rest of the DWD? Hmmmmm? What has 0U812 been up to? I'm getting a little concerned. If anyone is creating these things---the DWD help us; we must learn to control them.
(Just an aside--how fun it it really to chase them? Anyone here ever bag one? I overheard my hoomom telling another that she had gone to one of these LEHR thingies. She was a "bush beater"? Why would she beat bushes?)

Agent Grub: We were beginning to worry about you? Is Sqeek poop a good snacky item? Hmmmm, can you ship some this way? All I have is pittiepoop and it's beginning to all taste the same. Don't know why the hoomoms make such a big deal about it . . . we're just eating the secret messages that we do not want to fall into their hands!

Glad to see all Agents beginning to report in here.

One quick incident to report: There are Helltoads living under the back porch here. We have been making the Hoomom crazy (SHE says that--we are just protecting our interests) by not "doing our business". Instead we (me and The Pitbabies) have been trying to get to them. There is a BIG ONE <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm24.gif" border=0> under there and it is spitting out all these small ones. Hoomom had to shove firewood into the openings so that I, Agent Ghost, would not steal into its hellish depths and get wedged. Hrmmph!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm21.gif" border=0> The Pitbabies, esp. Quincy have been trying to get me in---he had picked up a really big piece and tried to move it in his mouth. I went to the opening created in order to slip in undetected. Sorry to report, Agents, that I did not make it. Hoomom screamed to get me away before Quincypitbaby dropped it on my back. She was not a happy Hoomom!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm23.gif" border=0> I coulda made it! And without injury too . . . .Hoomoms have no faith!

Well, Agent Ghost out! It's time to snarf some kibbled strength <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm8.gif" border=0>

The wood is cracking! (at least that's what the Hoomom said . . . )

Agent Ghost out!

[Mark]

00K9 checking in here . . .

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa: A Hand Dragon that spits? And then sucks it up?!? OMG will these hoomans stop at nothing? Jr. Agent Fuzzylips: I, 00K9, have tried the sleight of paw trick you are attempting to master. I thought if I got OU812 to help me drink most of the water it would work. Yeah, right! We drank so much we had to go outside to pee . . . and when we get back the bowl is full again! Now that's magic! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/wink.gif Agent Backhoe: A LEHR chasin party in AddisonMI sounds great! What's an AddisonMI?

Agent Bouncer http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/bounce.gif : If not the hoomans causing the trees to loose their fur . . . who? And what really concerns me is why?

Agents Grub & Squeek: Good work on scarfin the poopy snacks. Hoomans just have no idea what is or isn't a true delicacy! Mmmm, yum . . . I'm getting hungry. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/biggrin.gif

Agent Ghost: I don't know for sure what they're up to, but track this. First they strip out the long, purty hairs of Agent DB & I, 00K9 . . . then the trees start changing color and loosing their fur. To me, 2 + 2 = err . . . ummmm . . . well anyway it adds up. Coincidence . . . I think not! You are right! We must keep an eye on this to uncover their evil plan . . . then, as always, we will foil the plan. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/cool.gif

Nothing further to report from the Istanbul sector at this time.

00K9, OU812 & DB - out & low

Just the FAX ma'am . . . just the FAX

[Timber]

Timber wants to become a member. He needs to read the oath first, though. Timber wants his name to be Agent Crumbsniffer. His nose is always to the ground.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/wavey.gif

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Timber on October 04, 2000 at 09:26 PM</font>

[Meeka]

Agents Lollipophttp://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif & SWT <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm38.gif" border=0> reporting in.
The trees are shedding their fur here in the upper midwest also!!! I think the hoomans are experimenting on them first and then us! So we shed all our fur and then freeze<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm45.gif" border=0> in the cold weather.

Agent SWT <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm38.gif" border=0> almost got another one of those LEHRS. They must not be very intelligent as they keep coming into our sector. She did manage to kill one last time the cold white stuff covered the ground. She saids they are really yummy! But Mom hooman took it away from her before she got much of it.!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm10.gif" border=0>
Got to go hear foot steps coming!
Agents Lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif and SWT<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm38.gif" border=0> signing off.

[Dukey's Mom]

Psssttt...PEST here!

Jeez, mom is hogging the communication device alot lately!

It must be an epidemic. The tress are shedding here too. How do we handle this. Is this in the DWD handbook, oh wait, do we have one?

Agent Squirt caused a major ruckus the other day. Mom noticed him chewing on his nails. Yup, out came the clippers. To make things worse, mom said" weel, we might as well do everyone's". We tried every agent manuever we could think of, no luck.

I ,Agent Pest, am scheduled for the room of doom on Saturday.Something about getting boosters. I don't need boosters, I can get up on things just fine!

Hmmph!

The tress are naked

PEST out and low!

[Mark]

Pssst, 00K9 here . . .

Welcome AIT Crumbsniffer. What kind of hooman evils have you been battling? Anyone remember which thread "the oath" is in? Agent Crumbsniffer needs to take it.

Agents Lollipop and SWT: I don't think the LEHRs are very smart either. They stay outside in all kinds of weather! Dumb bunnies! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/silly.gif

Agent Pest: We have missed you, but your hoomom is helping a lot of potential DWD members! Why would a hooman who would stoop to clipping nails . . . actually help our cause? Watch your back!

Nothing exciting happening in Istanbul except that hoodad has promoted Top Spin. Yep, last night Agent DB paid the big fellow homage by rolling over on her back. Not so much as a good dog fight and it's over.

That's it from Istanbul,

00K9 - end transmission

[Dolly's Mom]

http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif Fellow Agents, the dachsies Grub and Squeek have SCORED!!! We got Popcorn tonight!!! Woweeee!!! It's the l@@k we tell you! It must be perfected so as to hypnotize the hoomommys and hoopapas to give over the goods! YUM http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif Now as far as tasting a little bit of LEHR, we are quite in the dark. We are city agents and haven't even a patch of grass to roll in and get all smelly and odorous.....RATS!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm22.gif" border=0> <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm22.gif" border=0>Maybe some of our country bumpkin agents can mail us some nice DIRT with Horsey noour to roll in so we grrrrrls can smell all purdy. Whattya think?

Over and into the big bed,
Squeek and The Grub

[Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc]

Greeting fellow agents. Agent Hunter, Dominatrix and Chowhound quickly reporting before they gohttp://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/sleep.gif to find any dastardly beings in the dachshund bed (we let the humans sleep in it too..we are not bigoted).
Agent Dominatrix is very proud to report she killed a devil rodent today outside the garden.http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/mad.gif Agent Hunter and she track them every day, but only score every few months. Agent Chowhound was only interested in the body which the male human stupidly picked up with a rake and flung into the blackberry bushes in the vacant lot next door. What a waste! But do say hip hip hooray to Agent Dominatrix for ridding the planet of one more devil rodent that was trying to subvert our plan for DWD. One last thing...Agent Chowhound asks againhttp://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/rolleyes.gif "what are helltoads...and what are LEHRS?" Over and out.
<IMG SRC="http://community-2.webtv.net/dachshunddoggie/ADachshundByAny/scrapbookFiles/mailedD6.jpg" border=0>

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Wotan, Shakti & Gaudi Inc on October 06, 2000 at 04:44 AM</font>

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost here:

Agent Chowhound---Helltoads are simply toads. These evil beings live under back porches, tease us mercilessly and then when you pick them up---they poop in your mouth!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm43.gif" border=0> LEHR's are Long Eared Hoppy Rodents-- rabbits and are evil and dumb. A bad combination!

Hope this helps!

Oh, AIT Crumbsniffer---check for the oath in the very first DWD entitled Dolly's Mission Impossible. I do believe it's there. Good Luck! and Welcome Aboard! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm11.gif" border=0>

Agent Ghost out

The calves are rippling

[omar_my_friend]

AIT Stealth reporting in

I chased a LEHR under the shed last night. I stood my ground looking and trying to go under the shed http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/huh.gif but hoodad came running and picked me up. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/grrr.gif

Agent Squeak and Grub good job scoring the popcorn. I just love that stuff.

Fellow agents for two days the sky keeps dropping poisonous droplets on me. Hoodad kept putting me out to go potty but I wanted to stay inside high and dry. Any ideas how to protect yourself from the poisonous stuff?

AIT Stealth out.

[Mark]

I, Agent 00K9, have gone to the archives and retrieved the orginal copy of the DWD oath:

Attention AIT's,

Ok, All Agents raise right front paw.

Please repeat the following:

I Agent ( your name here) swear to follow the following DWD rules.

1) Never volunteer any information and never ever give in willingly to the hoomans demands.

2) Prior to each communication, try to roll in something that smells really bad, no reason needed.

3)Stash as much yummies as possible.

4) Practice the L@@K to perfection.

5)When you are really Frito like, stick your paws in front of your hoomans nose, they love it.

6)When a car or person go by your home, bark like crazy, " mailman, come to kill us all" hoomans find this endearing.

7) As a DWD Agent, always practice Dachsie ettiquette. Be stubborn, very adorable, and get as much food as possible.

8)Be sure to sniff fellow Agents butts to make sure they are legit, very important!

9)Make sure you get the best spot on the bed, world domination will be tiring, push the male hooman as far as you can over to the edge of the bed. Then tell him "stay"

10)Last but not least, keep all kitty tootsie rolls under the bed in case you need extra energy.

Ok, paws up!

00K9 - end trans

[Dolly's Mom]

AIT Stealth, GACK!!!!! <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm24.gif" border=0> Those poison drops are BAD, NASTY & EVILE!! Be careful with them. They will cause you to melt as everyone knows we DWD agents are made of sugar and spice and everything nice.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm37.gif" border=0> You must learn to practice your HOLD! Warning though. Sometimes this manuever back fires and sends mommy and/or papas into tizzy fits. They become worrywarts and then take you to the room of doom where the mad scientists stick thingymajiggies up your bootie. I speak from experience here. I wouldn't go out in the inclement weather and mommy thought there was sumptin wrong with me......you know about hoomoms and hoodads and our being "regular". Well, I showed her, I did. As soon as that mean ol vet stuck that thing up my hiney, I bit my mommy right on the thumb. And I pooped all over the mean ol' vet guy. Hurrrumph<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm22.gif" border=0> That'll learn 'em durn 'em!http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/biggrin.gif The next time it spitted poison outside, mommy just letted me be. She knew I'd take care of bidness when I was darn good and ready. Carry on faithful agents. Total dachsie domination is at our paw tips!

Signing off and eating mommy's forgotten lunch,
The Grub <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm35.gif" border=0>

[wireweiners]

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa here. We had some of those poison drops last night but they didn't start until after we went to bed so we didn't get any on us. The sky also had a lot of flashing lights and was making loud noises. I was scared and cuddled up close to mom. Mom told me to get off her face and that the world was not coming to an end it was just the dachsies in heaven having a den trial. The lights in the sky were the flash of their teeth and the sparks made by their claws as they chased those celestial rats and the noise was the sound of their barking. I'm glad there are den trials in dachsie heaven, but I wish they would be a little quieter about it.<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm24.gif" border=0>

Agent Fuzzylips and I have a new development to report. We are being exposed to a new means of human domination - Obedience School!<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm6.gif" border=0> Since mom is teaching the class, we aren't officially enrolled we are just auditing the class. Agent Fuzzylips is a real pig and will eat anything, anywhere so mom uses her sometimes as a demo pup. She will do anything for food, even sit when told. Myself, I am resisting the human attemps at bribery and observe and gather information for DWD rather than succumb and obey commands.

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa, out and back.

The rain in Arkansas is mainly in the ditch.

[Meeka]

Agents Lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif & SWT<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm38.gif" border=0> reporting in.

WOW!!! agent SWT managed to get some toon-a- fishy that was on the counter. She didn't knock it on the floor like she is suppose to. (What good are these long legged agents if they don't do our bidding?!?) anyway Momhooman caughter her and she got into trouble. A little while later Momhooman gave the rest of the toon-a-fishy to us! I don't think agent SWT should have gotten anymore!

There is a big change here in the wilds of wisconsin. IT IS COLD!!! Momhooman saids it might snow? I think that is the cold white stuff that covers the ground and I hate it<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm23.gif" border=0> My little frito feet get very cold and my ears don't like it either. I don't want it to snow. It must be a hooman torture.

agents lollipop http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/facelick.gif & SWT <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm38.gif" border=0> signing off.

snow sticks to your toes

[isobelsmom]

Agent Ghost here again . . . it's cold and icky here so I'm spending bunches of time cruisin' the net and looking for some DWD action. At least until the hoomom busts me <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm13.gif" border=0>

We've had lots of poison drops here; so many in fact, that I have become immune to them. I, Agent Ghost, can actually walk between them now and not get really wet. Cool, huh? <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm11.gif" border=0> It's all in the wrist, fellow agents!

Hoomom has a DWD run tomorrow. She's getting two new agents from southern Ohio and driving them to, now what did she call that place . . .oh yeah, In-die-anna. Wow! I get to go along for the ride and will do all in my power to share the DWD cause with them. Then, they can share with others. Kinda like havin' a telee-phoee thingy, but not.

Jr. Agent D'Whoppa and Fuzzylips--bummer on the obedience thingy. That sucks! You show 'em that no good DWD agent bows down (or sits) on hoomom commands. Wow! Do they really have den trials in dachsie heaven? Cool!

Agent Ghost out---serious napping to do to get ready for the DWD run on the morrow.

The trees are leaking

[WOTANSMUTTI]

All agents! Time to move to another encrypted site for all our secret postings!


One never knows who might be watching...<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm13.gif" border=0>

Agent MM

[Timber]

AIT Crumbsniffer has taken his oath. He will now take over this message:

AIT Crumbsniffer reporting. In one week I have to go to the room of doom. I get the same shots I got last time! So unfair! About a month or so ago I peed on the death table[exam table]. To the untrained hooman eye, I was just excited to see the vets, But I really was aiming for the docter and missed. I'll get em' next time. Gotta go, mommy's coming.

<IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm22.gif" border=0>

[Mark]

00K9 here . . .

The hoomans have infiltrated this communication center.

All Agents . . . make all your reports to "THE TIME IS NIGH... DWD COM.CTR. # 8"

00K9 - outta here to over there http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/wink.gif