Com Center Number 14

[Mark]

OU812 here . . .

I have been informed that the hoomans have discovered the encryption code to our last Communications Center and, I OU812, have recoded and moved to this Istanbul based Com Center.

I am currently in the process of training 6 new Agents and will report their code names as soon as they complete the accelerated training program to achieve full Agent status.

The Owl IS the Pussycat . . . I repeat . . . The Owl IS the Pussycat

OU812 out!

[Dachsaholic]

>>Signing On<<

At last, we have gained access to the computer!! Let us introduce ourselves... We are all pleased to be involved in the DWD... We have found the oath and promise to abide by it... We are:

Quincee/Agent Ballplayer, Taylor/Agent Cunning, Brooklyn/Agent GirlieGrrl, Jesse/Agent Suckup, Zakaree/Agent Puppyeyes, Lornenzo/Agent Charming, Ollie/Agent Cutiepie and Nameless/Agent Angelic.

Since there are 8 of us we hope to be of assistance, we all work VERY well together and have The Look(S) down pat, yet all have a slightly different version of it, which helps a lot. (Quincee: The ButI'veBeenSuchAGoodBoyToday Look, Taylor: The IReallyWouldAppreaciateSomeOfYourFood Look, Brooklyn: The LookAtMeI'mSososoPretty Look, Jesse: The ILOVEYOUMOMMY Look, Zak: The I'mOhSoCute Look, and the three babies, Ollie, 'Enzo and Nameless, have those AwwwCuteWittlePuppers Looks... Ahhh, what a group we are!) We look forward to being assigned a mission. http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/devil1.gif

>>Signing Off, please chew this message into exactly 1,000,000 pieces as soon as you read it, thank you<<

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer reporting in... boy am I tired. Welcome to all those new agents: Agent Ballplayer, Agent Cunning, Agent GirlieGrrl, Agent Suckup, Agent Puppyeyes, Agent Charming, Agent Cutiepie and Agent Angelic. Hope I got them all!!! We have had lots of poison drops here and Agent Missy has gotten us all in trouble by refusing to get her feeties wet. HooMom thinks that as Alpha Agent, I should be able to get her to go out in the poison drops. She just tells me that she will melt cause she is all sugar. We have also had lots of TRIM's carrying nutties that they drop on us, so the work is weally hard right now. I did get to go to 'bediants class tonight and showed the whole group just how stubborn a wireheaded girlie can be. When HooMom told me to stand, I sat. When she tried to get me to sit, I stood. Den I gave them all the L@@K... got lots of zzzz's and buggies to chase tonight. Bouncer out and out and out...

[Mandy]

Dis is Agent Giggle Monster,

Agent Snuggle Butt and I have got da hoomummy and hoodaddy twained weally well now! Dey gives us "happy cheese" every morning and every night. I heard dem talking. I dink Agent Snuggle Butt's happy cheese has somefin in it. Dey said somefin about de medcine weally hewping him. We must 'vestigate dis to make sure de happy cheese is not some evil pwot.

We have been twaining all sorts of new agents and getting secwets from agents we have met.

We met lots of de Southern agents when we went to VA last month for da meeting. Lots of pwans were made, but I will let Agent Snuggle Butt fiwl you in, 'cause I'm not sure what it all means xactly.

De big turkey day is next week for dose agents in de states. I heard de hooparents say dat daddy's pawents are coming to visit. I wike dat hoograndpa! De hoograndma won't wet him have a puppy dog, so he spoiwls us wike crazy when he is here!

Henwy, er..Agent Snuggle Butt....said our oder hoograndma (mummy's mummy) used to babysit him and did so many fun dings wid him. He weally misses her, but I never got to meet her.

Giggle Monster roling on de floor....giggling of course....

[Dachsaholic]

Agent Cunning here... I wanted to report some sinister looking hoomans walking around in my backyard. They gots big ol' metal machines, and they're movin' the dirt around. Hmmm...
Here's Agent Angelic:

Hiya! <<giggles>> Just wanted to let ya all know that I gots a name now! My name's Samantha! That's real funny 'cause I heard that's my DachsieMommy's name too! Cool! i don't gots a middle name yet, my HooMom's workin' on it! Well, I gots ta go now, byebye! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/angel.gif

This is Agent Puppyeyes. Agent Puppyeyes has bad news. Agent Puppyeyes saw somethin' BAD last night. Agent Puppyeyes saw a... a... a CAT! http://dachsie.org/ubb/smilies/eek.gif Agent Puppyeyes' HooMom went outside 'n picked up the... the... the... the C- word. N' she said "Awww, pretty kitty! Good cat!" 'N Agent Puppyeyes barked. 'N barked. 'N barked. Yep. Sure did. Am I a good little agent? Huh? Huh? Huh?

This is Agent Ballplayer, I do apologize for Agent Puppyeyes's annoyingness. He's only 6 months old. All of the other agents are busy distracting our HooMom, they can't come to the computer right now. Uh oh, HooParent's comin'!

<<Signing Off>>

[Mandy]

Agent Snuggle Butt here:

We had a good meeting in VA last month. The most important is the upcoming hoilday in the states....here on referred to as T-day.

T-day, as some of you know is next week. On this day, many of the hooparents will be cooking a turkey (ours in the fridge right now....hoomum keeps calling him Hector). The L@@K will serve you well.

Try to talk the hooparents into giving you the neck before the turkey is cooked. This makes a delicious meal. There is also a bag of goodies inside the turkey.

It is also very likely that you may be visiting at another hoorelatives house, or that some hoorelatives will come to your house. ha ha ha EASY PREY! They don't know it's coming. <IMG SRC="http://dachsie.org/ubb/cwmsmilies/cwm7.gif" border=0> The L@@K is guaranteed to work on these lesser dachsie experienced persons.

Also target the little hoopeople. Act like their friend, give them a few licks, and they will do anything for you. They are also great for reaching places we might not be able to....like the top of the counter or table. Stress "SHARING." Big hoopeople are always telling little hoopeople to share. So, tell the little hoopeople they need to share. Since adults don't speak dachsie and kids do, this makes it very easy. Even if they squeal (I have yet to have this happen), the adults will never believe them. I had one hoocousin who gave me every other bite until hoomummy caught her. Although, watch out for hoolittles whom you haven't seen for a while; as they get bigger, they lose some of their amiability.

According to the agents at the meeting, our network is steadily growing. It is important for us to continually build our network if our goal is to be accomplished. Keep teaching those foster agents, for they are great messengers as they travel to their new homes.

AITs - remember to watch and learn from the full agents. We've been around and know many, many secrets.

Our next large scale operation will be in December. Some of you celebrate Yule, others Channukah, others Christmas or Kwanzaa......but it all comes down to the same directive.....FOOD! FOOD! TOYS! FOOD!

Sneak around your house while the hooparents are out. I know our hoomummy already has presents hidden in various places.

Do not lose communication. United we stand! And standing united, we can reach much higher surfaces!

Snuggle Butt off to help Giggle Monster grab some cookies...

Remember....T-Day...8 days and counting....

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, dis is AIT Sleepy. I went to da room of doom on Toosday and got my lastes' poke for anudder 365 dinners, says hoomom. Den i went to da S.P.C.A. and gots my license - I think dat means I can drive now! I gets to have 2 Turkey days! One is tomowwow, at my hooaunt's, an' anudder one on da "real turkey day". But here is my bigges' news - I gets to go bizzit the hoogranparents at Kwismuss, 'cuz hoomom is gonna take me to cheer up my hoogranpa who is in da horsepittle from a stroke. I gots a new green sherpa bag, and I am comin' to Mizzeruh! Look out, fellow AITs! I will spread word of our great work, and twy to find new rekrewts! AIT Sleepy over an' out!

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Heidi'smom on November 17, 2001 at 09:56 PM</font>

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer! I am so proud to hear all de gweat reports from all agents. Two dinners ago with lost all of de lights and poison dwops flew all over. Today, I overheerd da HooMom on de ting she talks into and it makes sounds back. We gets a new foster tomorrow. We doesn't know anyting about him sept dat he is a boy named Lucky and he will need twaining. We is staying put for da Turkey day, but HooUncle and HooAunt will come da next day wid a couple of der funny looking agents. Maybe we can score some turkey dat day? Dat will be 7 agents and agents in twaining. I sure hopes dat de new foster agent in twaining doesn't get us in twouble. Bouncer out to hide all my good stuff, just in case.

[Shay]

Dis is AIT Wiggles reportin' in. Dat Agent Jazzel is sleeping, so I gets a turn at da puter. Well, dese fosters is lots of fun, but da hoomom keeps getting dat carpet slurpy 'achine out. Biting it does NOT shut it up. I barks at it da entire time, even when da hoomans puts me in anofer room, I still barks at it. I likes to bark, and it works 'ventually, cuz dey turn it off!!!!

one of da foster brofers went to his forever home dis past weekend, when dose hoomans came in to meet him, i barked and barked and barked and barked, I likes to bark!!! Then I saw dat dese hoomans was looking at da foster brofer wif lovies, kissies and stuff, so i gotted quiet and got some lovies from dem too, with the L@@K, which i am learning to use so well now. (even the master agent jazzel is impressed w/my skills!!)

i founded out dat i gets to become a wreal agent in march, when i am 12 monfs. jazzel says when da BIMS, and TRIMS comes out in full forceness again, i will almost be an agent.

hearing lots of talk bout dis turkey day, what is it??? da jazzel says we gets to go to da hoograndparents house and it's portant to use the L@@K, a lot!!!

da hoomom and hooboy gotted out 2 boxes last nite, saying somfing about a tree and doggies being in da kitchen or a pen for a tree, now what could dat be? a tree in a box, i don't gets it. her slurpied da carpet by da window, and moved my doggie bed to da other side of da room......i gonna have to keeps an eye on her, her's up to somfing...........

AIT Wiggles out, hoomom alert.

oh, btw i haven't figured out the secret messages at da bottom of some of da agents posts, maybe i'll learn that next.......dis DWD is wots of work!!!!

[Mandy]

Agent Giggle Monster here....

AIT Wiggles - good work wif da spitting dwagon! Don't give up though. Agent Snuggle Butt and I have found dat de best way to fight de evil floor dragons is to do run by bitings.

You must pwactice to be vewy, vewy fast. Do dis by running around de house as fast as you possibwy can. Den you must wearn how to bit ede mean old dwagon as you run past vewy, vewy fast.

You will get it! Just be careful until you are a pwo!

Turkey day is a vewy big DWD day in some countwies. De hoopeople cook dese bug birds in de oven. Den de sent down to a big feast wid friends and family and talwk about what de a re grateful for.

What de should do is make a big feast for US, and say how happy de are dat we save dem from dings like floor dwagons and BIMs and sloogs and all de oder nasties we save dem from. And dey should be happy dat we allow dem to sweep wid us in de big bed and cuddle up next to us.

Your pwactice doing de L@@K will come in handy to get tweats! Work on de Turkey for now. you fewwow agents will help you wid de rest of de stuff.

DWD is a wot of work, but we must remember our cause. De full agents will teach you more as you are ready.

All you dachsies get some turkey on T-day! 2 more days until T-day! Are you prepawed?

The frogs are in the jelly bean pants....

giggle monster out......(rolling on the floor laughing)

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer again. Where are all agents? I have heard that there is another big bird day coming with lots of pressies. My twee that lives inside hand has lights is back. I remember that it came out dis time last year and HooMom started making good stuff called "pecan pralines" and sometimes, we got a little taste. Since last I wrote, our twees have started losing fir too.

Also, we didn't get da foster named "Lucky" stead we got a cute baby boy dat was hitted by one of dem time machines and ended up in animal control. He has pins to hold his hip and leg together and is all stapled up. Aniway, he is a weally good looking chocolate and tan (I think he is a Reeses peanut butter mini boy). His name is "Rocky" and he tries to pretend he's a rocket, so he has to stay in a cwate cause he doesn't know he is hurted and twies to do everyting the west of da agents do. Agent Bouncer out to see what is happening!

[Mark]

As promised I, OU812, have completed the accelerated training of six new Agents. Allow me to introduced Agents Weenie, Teenie, Lone Wolf, Long Dog, Diva and Enforcer.

I will keep you posted on their missions, accomplishments and conquest for the DWD.

Paper-Rock-Scissors . . . I repeat . . . Paper-Rock-Scissors

OU812 out

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, everybodee! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and AIT Sleepy reportin' for dutee! We are havin' COLD weather here an' we CA girls are not too happy wif dat - well, except da baby - she's a longhair, an' she doesn know dat we don' go out when da poison drops fall or when it's COLD. We're thinkin' of callin' her Mikey - 'cause she likes everthin! She got to go wif hoomom on Toosday to a big place where they did somfin to hoomom's car to make it run better. So Sleepy went in her sherpa bag an' she got to come out an' giv everbodee the L@@K! Peoples came out of da woodwork to make frens! Hoomom told us she gets to go see the hoogranparents in 11 days, but our "hooaunt" will be takin' car of us - and she gives us lotsa tweets an' spoils us fittingly so we will patrol and be on the lookout for TRIMs (but have never seen one yet!) and BIMs, plus we prolly get sum poison drops again! Agents Blinkin' Nod, and AIT Sleepy signin' out for dinnertime- but we say "Beef, Chicken, or Cheese" - what is dat paper, rock, scissors stuff?

[TessieMom]

Agent Hugger reporting in. Agent Bouncer is doing zzz's with da foster agent in training. Boy is he getting to be a pain!!! He steals all da toys and den looks so innocent! Agent Lover had to go to da room and she got lots of lumps taken off so dey could do a biopsee -- whatever dat is. At any rate, she has to wear dis white stretchy ting so she can't get at her sore spots.

We have had lots of dose poison drops, but mainly I wanted to write cause I like da rock, paper, scissors thing. HooMom always plays dat with me and I WIN. I always get her paper with my scissor mouth and I paper her rock with my paw and, well, I could rock her scissors if I could figure out how...

OH YES!!! Paper, Rock, Scissors!!! It is SOO much fun! Let's do it NOW!!! Hugger out to find a Rock.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs. AIT Sleepy reportin' in. I went to da room of doom today - but all was well. Da white coat listened to my heart, weighed me, took my temrachur (yeuucccch!), and looked me over good for my healthy pup plane check-up. But the bigges' news is: I went to work with Hoomom! I got to be wif her all day long at da skool! Dose hookids were pretty scary at first - all dose hands tryin' to pet and touch me! But Hoomom told 'em to sit down and let me 'splore - an' dat was fun! I got to bisit wif other hookids, too. Hoomom has been showin' her class pichurs of me since I wuz 5 weeks old, so today they got to see the real thing - me! I was a perfect lil' lady - no axidents. Hoomom took some of my tweets, and I even got petted by 3 hookids who don' really like furkids much - one hookid's mom told my hoomom that she was really happy her hoogirl petted me, 'cause she doesn't want her to be scared of us! I am all set to go on da plane and bisit da hoograndparents. Have a Good Kwanzaa, Happy Hannukah, Merry Crismus, or (as we CA dogs might say) Feliz Navidog! I thought it was, "Fleas, leave a dog" but Blinkin' and Nod splained it to me. AIT Sleepy over and out - and "rock, paper, scissors" at cha!

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer report'n in. Congwatulations AIT Sleepy on passing the tests at da room and bein able to infiltrate da HooMom's work place. Skools are gweat places to learn about little Hoo's and master the L@@K. Our foster AIT Rocket has been able to go to HooMom's skool for 25 dinners. He is much better from where he got hitted by a time machine. Now he tinks he can sleep on da big bed and go for howladays to our HooUncle's house in Noo Mexico. Our big sissy, Agent Lover got bad news from da white coats. Dey said her lumps were da bad kind and dat dey couldn't do anything for dem, so we are twying to take good care of her cause she has 14 Hooyears of knowledge of Hoos. Agent Bouncer out to find some special dachsie rays for Agent Lover.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow/gal agents and AITs. We are Blinkin' and Nod - ait Sleepy is sleepin'. Yesterday, Hoomom took her away early and didn come back till it was gettin' dark and she didn't bring Sleepy home - but she smelled like Sleepy an the Room of Doom. Today Hoomom was gone and brought her back dis morning, an' she's missin' PARTS!. She is really livin' up to her code name. She been sleepin' in da crate or in Hoomom's lap, an' she only ate about half her dinner. We heard Hoomom say to an auntie dat Brekke "got fixed". ???We didn know she was broken. We got to see a movee wif a dachshund in it- Hoomom didn care too much for da movee, but da dachshund was a hansum boy. It was "Bonefire of da Vanities", we think. Sleepy did say when she got back from Mizzoorah, dat the 2 dogs next door to da hoogranparents (not dachsies) are okay wif us dachsies doin' whatsoever we want (DWD), as long as dey can chase BIMS and TRIMS. BTW, Sleepy saw her first TRIM in Mizzoorah - we still have yet to see one! Agents Blinkin' and Nod signin' off, since Sleepy is out for da count!

<FONT COLOR="#00FFFF" SIZE="1" FACE="Verdana, Arial">This message has been edited by Heidi'smom on January 04, 2002 at 11:46 PM</font>

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer. Are any agents out there? Since last I ported in our foster Agent in Training, Rocket, went to his new home. We had another foster for about 3 hours, den he went to a forever home... we just can't keep good agents around.HooMom says spring is coming and de green stuff is coming up after we had poison dwops. She says der is a tree rodent living in our attic. If I could get dat squirrelee I would. He disturbs my sleep time. HooMom twied to catch him in a twap, but I think the twap was too small. He must be as big as we are cause he eats lots of nuts. I need help from all agents to figure out how I can catch him. Den maybe HooMom will take me back to bediants school instead of Agent Hugger. HooMom did bwing us all new fuzzy toys from da store today, so she muss love us.

Agent Hugger and Agent Missy are doing weally good, but Agent Lover's lumps were malignant and de guy in da white coat at de room says dat nothing can be done. Dats all I know for now. If any agents can help me with da squirrel in da attic, let me know.

Agent Bouncer out to sniff the grass.

[MARTHA]

Agent SM portin in for me an Agent Bus. Wez been weel buzy...Agent Bouncer, iwood lubs to hep youz catches dat squirlee. Will da Hoo-Mom lets you ups in da attic? If she wills, hides in da shadows an waits weal still and patent like fer it to gets close to you. If you can takes sum dinners up dere, it will be weal interested in yer food cause it tasteses lotz better than his ole nuts. While hesiz interested in da food, sneak up real slow and quiet and grabs him, shakes him real goods like he iz a stuffeded toy and den takes him to your Hoo-Mom. Dats my advice. Good luck!

Me an Agent Bugs has been weal busy. We went to Alabama durin Christmas, didn't find anything much. Our cousin Jack has new nephew, a boxer, still a baby, not smart like a doxie so we can't begins to start usin him for info, not reliable.

We went to Florida a couple of weeks ago, still nothin to report there eifer.

We do a good job trollin our area. Let us know if any of you Agents need any help. Wez will try to comes to your aid. DWD iz da best.

Agent SM and Bug Out and trollin for a snackie

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer.... sumthing strange has happened here. Must be de HooPeople. Agent SM and Agent Bus, thanks for de advice. HooMom doesn't let me go up in de attek... she thinks I might jump or fall thru de ceiling. Have yet to spot de squirrelee, but I knows he is dere. HooMom has promised us another foster agent tomorrow, so maybe he can help. He is only 2, but he lived outside on a chain all hes life, so we haf to teach him lots of stuff. We got real bones last night and I is very sleepy cause I chewed all night. Will let you know more later, meanwhile if you gets any ideas about catching de squirrelee, I will check back. Bouncer out completely.

[Dolly's Mom]

Hawwo fellow DWD agents. 'Member us, Agents Grub and Squeek? We bow low (oops we are already low) in apologies for not reporting in for a very long time. Are we forgiven yet? Well, one thing BIG that has happened here is that we has been MOVED. We are now investigating our new secret agent territory of Santa Maria in Californy. We have lots to sniff about cuz now we have a real YARD and not just a puny patio. I, Dolly, have already told the dawg next door where she can go. Mommy sez that she's a nice doggy but I'm spishus. This dawg's name is Joey and SHE's a GRRRRL. Doddn't dat sound spishus enuff? Agent Squeek here. Ooooh, we have a park nearby that has these cwitters that live in the gwound. I wuv to get my paws and snoot diwty digging for dem. Mommy sez they are Gophers. Whatever do they have to Gofer? Gofer for that! Gofer this. WHATEVER. I jes know that I want to catch one and shake it silly. We shall try to sneeeek in more often while the Hoomommy and Hoopapa are looking for J O B S. Don't they know that WE are their jobs? Whatever.

Agents Grub and Squeek over and out of our little minds.

[Tanya]

Hello all agents. This is Agent Bootscooter here - yes, it has been a while but I have been on special assignment for many months. As you know Agent Jammin, who started out as a foster, has been training under me. He has made great progress. Hoomans are putty in his paws as he looks so adorable with no teeth and his tongue hangs out but looks can be decieving!!

We now have a new agent who I believe will be a part of our elite special forces program. His name is Agent Mangymite - I know...not a pretty name but it fits for the tye of work he is able to do. He came to me hairless from mange and ears rotten with mites but I have whipped that boy into shape!! He was a foster in our home who was adopted. But after a few months of learning enemy secrets, he bit a hooman as revenge for his poor treatment earlier in life and was was returned. He is now a permanent resident here with me as his leader. He now know biting is wrong and we catch more flies with honey. He has become a master at this.

Good to see new recruits and all my old Agents - Dolly, OU812, and Bouncer to name a few!

BEWARE AGENTS!! Those dive bombing birds will be back soon. My hoomans - nasty scoundrels - are already preparing houses for them!! We shall win!!

Agent Bootscooter - end transmission

[Dolly's Mom]

Agent Grub nosing in again to tell all you agents that my hoopapa is a PARTY POOPER! Yes he is, agents, cuz there I was snuffling happily with my snoot in a fence hole smelling those two kittycats that live next door when suddenly, hoopapa brings this shiny stuff and a hammer and nails and starts pounding the daylights outta my fence! The NOYVE!!! Now I can't smell the kittycats any more....booo hoooo. To make sure that my nose doesn't get into anymore trubbo, papa proceeded to put that shiny metal stuff up on all my favorite nose holes. Now, I tell you agents, would you say papa is a class A PARTY POOPER???? I've really got my nose bent out of shape over this revoltin' development!

Pouty Agent Grub off to bite papa's britches <img border="0" alt="[Disgust]" title="" src="graemlins/disgust.gif" />

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer!!! Welcome Back Agents Grub, Squeek, and Bootscooter! I has missed all of yous. I am soo happy to hear from you. Agent Grub can you pull de metal tings off de fence? You weally needs to be able to look out to protected you yard against da evil kitty monsters.

Our HooMom has goned crazy too. Normally she brings in one foster agent boy, but today she brought back two and dey is not exactly like us. Dey is something called beagledachsies and der is a momma and a baby, plus we alweady had dis foster guy who we has just about twained. But dis momma is in someting called heat and her baby gwirl is only 4 months old. Dey is stways. Da momma keeps biting and gwowling at me, I don't know what to do. It is not fair. Bouncer, out for da night.

[Heidismom]

AIT Sleepy here! Hewwo everybody! I got big news! I got to go with the hoomom to da PetsMart store for some donayshun stuff hoomom wanted. I luv dat store! Anyway, we got 3 bog bags of other dogs' dog food - hmmph! The hoolady at da box wif da money sed I wuz really a qt. Den we got in da time machine and went to a place where hoomom got a big white wagon and she took alla dat dog food, plus some towels dat we got from a hooaunt, into dis place called da SPCA. Dey all think I'm a qt there - and 3 hoomans twied to 'dopt me right out from unner hoomom! So den a hooman took me to a kitchen where dere wasn't any food! I got a poke, but I jus' innored dat! He brought me back and all da wimmen said how qt! I was a big hit! I got back home an' my sissies sez I got a mikrowchip inna nek! What's dat? I fink it's anudder plot to keep us subservient - whatever dat is. I got a new toy, though - a wiggly giggly ball! I pway wif it a lot, an'it's noisy! I can't pway wif it after 10 at nite.

[Mark]

Pssst . . . Agent OU812 here,

I, OU812 and Agents, Weenie, Teenie, Lone Wolf, Long Dog, Diva and Enforcer have had many glorious victories for the DWD against many devious foes. We have noticed many new potential agents around this communications center. I hope that some of them will join us at Dachshund World Domination (DWD).

Simply read the encryted archives of our past adventures, take the DWD Oath (contained therein) and soon you will be vanquishing such evils as sloogs, TRIM's, BIM's, Floor Dragons, etc. . . . and once adequately trained & schooled in the art of the L@@K be able to withstand hooman plots like the Room of Doom where the White Coats are.

Meanwhile know that the Istanbul sector is securely under our control for the DWD. <img border="0" alt="[yelclap]" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

OU812 out from Istanbul . . .

The grass has gone undercover . . . I repeat, the grass has gone undercover! <img border="0" alt="[eek]" title="" src="graemlins/eek.gif" />

[Tanya]

Agent Bootscooter reporting in. Hello Agent Bouncer - glad to be missed. I'm in desperate need pf assistance here. I was forced into the transporter and taken to the room of doom where i received truth serum I'm sure. Then - they tried to weaken me by taking my blood. I tried to escape - even got outta my leash but alas...my legs are too short to run very far. I think I'm now being slowly poisoned. I heard my hoomom fussing about how in the heck did my dog get whipworms - what is dat? So, every night for the past 5 days, she has been poisoning me and all the other Agents with white yucky stuff! Help me!!! I fear my life is in dangr.

Agent Bootscooter - out

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer reporting in. I is glad dat OU812 has tings under control in Istanbul.

Agent Bootscooter, I too had to go to da room two suppers ago and gave blood for da heartwormie test... den I heard HooMom say I has to go back and get shots next month. I think they mus be trying to poison us. We need a plan. AIT Sleepy gets dis microchip ting ... but PetsMart is a good place to pick up stuff, so maybe we can take over dat place and give everything away to dachshunds only. Sides, by the weekend we may have 2 to 4 more foster agents coming through here -- dey is coming out of da sky. I can not take any more of dis. I am supposed to be in charge of things here, and dat means NO MORE foster agents. I is gonna put all 4 paws down.

Agent Bouncer takin a break before more agents come!

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer again... I gots an update... HooMom keeps going in da time machine and coming back with red headed foster agents... yesterday, it was dis girl with da scar on her back and today she an I went for hours and came back with dis old boy with lots of white hair ... an he has all of his parts and keeps chasing Agent Hugger. She has tol him "NO" in no uncertain terms, but he jus keeps chasin her. I heard HooMom talking about another boy tomorrow... where is dey all coming from??? Is dis an evil plot. Bouncer out to test the water an see if da poison drops has poisoned the air.

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

How does a pupper become an agent? I have 2 Black and Tan super sleuths that REALLY want to know how to become a part of the missions.... :)
:rolleyes:

[MARTHA]

Pssst, hey, you two, the new supper sleuths... Agent SM and Agent Bugs here. Confiscate da pooter and scroll down through da archives. OU812 posted instructions earlied dis month. Go back to da beginins posts. Wead all poist. You will comes to da Oath. Wead it bery carefully. Study hard and you too can become an Agent.

Agent SM and I hab benn trollin our area as much as possible. We been twing to stay out ob da hoo-mom way - she's plannin a nail party, and, well, Agent SM jus getz hisssterical. But she is brave, she does not gib away any screts of da DWD.

Oooh, time for da Hoo-mom to come home. Dinner time!! Gotz to go.

Agent Bug and SM ober an out and trollin fer danger...

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

Dis here is Agent in twaining Super Snoot and anoder Agent in twaining, Prissy Pwincess....We tink that we can help out de cause and be vewy good agents....we live in Texas and der is a LOT of stuff to look out for here. We need some help doh, so that we can do the best job. Tanks for giving us a chance....We are 2 B/T smooth mini super sleuths who will watch for our hooman slave to get away from the 'puter....den we will zoom in!!! Agents in twaining....Super Snoot and Prissy Pwincess ober and out......and on our way to de kitchen!!! <img border="0" alt="[Lick]" title="" src="graemlins/tongueaction.gif" />

[Dolly's Mom]

Welcome Agents In Training Super Snoot and Prissy Pwincess. Agents Grub and Squeek here. Oh, we Agents have so much work to do for our quest of TOTAL dachshund world domination. Us agents were taken to something called Woof Pack Park a few 3 days ago. There were quite a few....um.....lesser DAWGS there and...this is Squeek speaking....Agent Grub kind of stunk up the place when a Westie tried to probe her butt with its inferior snoot! Grub didn't like that at all and empty her stink glands on the hapless pooch. After that, she wouldn't let no one sniff her behind and created a Sit In so they couldn't. ENUFF Squeek! You're humiliating me!! Sorry Grub. You better be sorry. Afterall whose butt needs to be squeezed????? Hmmmmmm? Um, Mine, Grub. It HURTS. Hope I get emptied soon. I don't like butt scootin'. OH! Snoot and Pwincess, be on the look out for Floor dragons and Hair dragons. We know you will make fine Agents. Tootles!

Grub and Squeek over and out of our little pea brains.

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

Dis is Agent in Twaining Super Snoot (alias Rudy) and Prissy Pwincess (alias Brandy). We decided to go on a mission to prove ourselves as agent material. Our goal was to find more recruits for the DWD cause. We were successful....and had fun too! (We hope that is ok to have fun on a mission... :) )

We got to go bizit our fwiends on Saturday - and here is our story...
Dis is Rudy talkin....We were gonna go bizit our fwiends, Ilsa (MY girlfwiend ) and her sissie Gretchen, and our oder fwiend Chloe Marie......Mama is packin' all dis stuff in the backpack....bowls, food, blankies, toys, camera......she puts dat in de car....we are getting 'cited now....cause she is askin' if we wanna go for a ride.
DO WE????? Weeeellllll YAAAAA !!!

Den she gets dis bowl out of the frigerator.....it is a BIG bowl and has some white creamy stuff on top.... she puts dat in the front seat......

Den she says she is ready for US!!! we put our halters on, and take a quick walk so we can pee-pee....den it is our turn to get in de car....OH Happy Day!!!! We get all clipped in our lookout seat...and off we go.

We are rounding a corner, and who drives by on his motorcycle, but our dad!!! Mama stops so she can tell him we are on our way.....me and Bwandy got so excited to see him.....we were barkin'......and Bwandy falls over de side of the car seat....she has her halter clipped to the car seat, and he legs get tangled up in the straps to the back pack....so mama has to get out and untangle her....and unclip her...to get all situated AGAIN....I was vewy good.....I just sat in the seat and barked at dad!!!! Welll......

Bwandy gets away from mama....and goes through the bucket seat to the front seat.....mama is going....OH NO...not the dessert !!!! Dad tries to get off the motorcycle.....mama runs back to the front seat.....BUT alas......Bwandy's leg has already gone into the dessert......she has white creamy stuff half way up to her thigh.......Of course she walks across mama's drivin seat.....leaving a trail of white....and jumps into mama's arms.....smearing white all over her shirt!!! I was SO good....I dus sat dere and watched!!!

All mama and daddy can do is laugh......mama wiped her leg, snapped Bwandy back in....got back in the car...went around the block....back home.....got out...scooped out the part of the desert where Bwandy had stepped in it.....dad wiped her seat off with a cloth....I licked the yummy stuff off Bwandy's leg....mama dabbed at de stuff on her shirt.....and re-covered the dessert.....and off we went again....WHEW.....it was about time!!!

We made it dere.....mama told Auntie Delia and Auntie Laura de story of de dessert......and they said they didn't care.......but dey did look to make sure dere wasn't anyting in de dessert...

We had a WONDERFUL birthday.....AND me and Gretchen were bery nice to each oder....everyone played together vewy well.....mama said she really hoped that the pupcake pictures turn out....'cause it was total bedlam on Auntie Delia's table!!!! Mama kept saying - How in de world do oder humans get dere doggies to sit still in front of the cake, with a party hat on.....and get a picture???????

dos humans were so funny......all three of dos mommies were crying and holding their stomachs....WE doxies were just worried about getting our fair share of de pupcakes!!!!!

We were all pooped going home....but it was a fun-fun time!!!

THE END

Dis is Brandy here.....tanks a lot Rudy...I didn't even get to tell ANY of de story....hhhrrrruuummmppp.....I guess I will just go back to my pillow....I sure got some really kewl toys from my fwiends!!!! I am now 6 yrs old!!

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer report'n in for our pack (Agent Hugger, Lover, Missy, and da foster AIT Golden Boy). Welcome Agents Super Snoot and Pwissy Pwincess! I has been study'n a map an I tink I can find Coppell if I can figure out how to make da time machine move. I am pretty big, so I can see out da big window in fwont, but I can't reach da go peddles... but for a big bowl of dessert I can make a plan. Agent Hugger could work da go peddles, I could turn da wheel... now where does HooMom keep da keys? I has to make sure it has go liquid in it too cause she jus took two fosters up dere in the bad poison dwops yesterday.

Bouncer out to refine da plan... jus let me know when da dessert is ready!

[Dolly's Mom]

Excellent work AITs S.Snoop and P.Pwincess! I (Grub) know I'm not the boss here, but don't you agents think this was a good acid test mission for our AITs? Don't you think they should take full Agent status now? Agent OU812, what do you think? Congratulations to you 2 brave Agents for protecting and defending DWD and for gracefully having to put up with the silly antics of those silly hoomans who insisted on putting those silly pointy hats on youse. :rolleyes:

Agent Grub off to hibernate for the night in the BIG BED. Psssssst....this out! Agent Squeek SNORES!! :D

[Mark]

Pssst . . . OU812 here.

Agent Grub makes a good point about advancement to Agent status . . .

AIT's Super Snoop and Prissy Pwincess are hereby granted FULL Agent status! <img border="0" alt="[eek]" title="" src="graemlins/eek.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[yelclap]" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[eek]" title="" src="graemlins/eek.gif" />

Hereafter any AIT's who recount, in detail, a successful DWD mission are also promoted to Agent. :cool:

OU812, out to check the effects of this white stuff falling to the ground in Istanbul.

Growling goats can not play backgammon . . . I repeat, growling goats can not play backgammon!

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

Reporting in.....AGENT Super Snoot and Prissy Pwincess.......KEWL....we are so 'cited !!!! Our mission was successful.....and we were elevated to REAL agents!!! Wow !!! Tanks Agent Gwub for making the suggestion......and any time oder agents want to come for dessert......we will SURE make some!!!! Bwandy....ooopppsss Agent Prissy Pwincess will be happy to tromp all in it...if dat is what you want!!! We wuv meeting oder agents....maybe we can plan a play date sometime?
Over and out...and off to take a well deserved (or so WE think :) ) snooze.......

:p :D <img border="0" alt="[Square]" title="" src="graemlins/square.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[smirk]" title="" src="graemlins/smirk.gif" />

[TessieMom]

Congwatulations Agents Prissy Pwincess and Super Snoot!!! I am pleased you have made it to full Agent Status. Da Waco branch of DWD is most interested in da dessert plans. HooMom tells me an Agents Lover and Missy dat we is overweight. I tinks I is jus a little chubby cause I steal all da food I can get. She still tinks 28 pounds is too much for a standard wire girl, cause I sleep on her legs at night. Got to start planning ... Bouncer out!

[MARTHA]

Concgratulations new Agents!! We izzzz verrry proud of you. Dis iz Agent Bugs here. Agent SM and I bof are intresteded in da Desert Planz too. we lubs to eet. If you decidez to serbe dessert agen, jus let us no. We will make plane rezerbation on da pooter and hab a limo pics us up an takes uses to an frum da airieport.

We went on a misssion last weekend. We trolled our frenz house an talked to all da doggies dat wuz dere. Couldn't fin any ebidence of anfing...no food either.

wez is off to fin a tweet, takes a nappie, get weady fer dinner, an, of crouse tro our area...

Agents Bugs an SM ober and outz snackin

[MARTHA]

Hewwo fello Agents - Dis Agent SM portin in fer me and Agent Bugs..I bin onz a misshun. Dis mornin, weel early I gotz up an did mousie trollin'. I knos dat dere iz sum in da basiemint. I herdz dem an jumpeded out of da bed and twied to poncie on one ob dem. De mousie wanted to steel my food. No way wood dis Agent let aniefing hab da food. Mom made me getz bac in da bed...I wated til she went sleepie again an I went trollin some more. I gotz a little cited bout chasin da mousie and Mom got up and took me backs to bed. Itz got to be a mousie plot...she twied to get me to go sleepie an den da mousie could get my food. No way....Mom useded all her twicks but I wesisted...she gabe me tummy rubs, cuddles and kissies but I stayed awake til time fer Mom to getz up. I hung ober Mom and kept da ebil eye out on trol, jus in case a mousie did bweak fru da barrier. Once again da DWD succeeds in a mishun and WINS. Still mus be careful bout Mom not wantin me to trol at nite...Agents Bugs had da nite off...she did trol duty today. Time for nappie so I can trol tonite....

Agent SM and Agent Bugs ober an out an guardin da food bowl...

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Agent Bouncer. I has been terribly busy lately trying to keep twack of all da foster agents HooMom brings in. However, I wants to commend all dose agents who have been on missions for da cause. HooMom says we may be back to jus us 4 gwirls soon. I weally hope so, cause I am missing my snuggles. Sides, da new foster has long hair and thinks he is in charge... keeps sneek'n up behind us a nipping us in da rear end. Dat hurts cause I went to da room for a shot yesterday. All da critters are out, da poison dwops are falling and it is time to twoll!
Agent Bouncer on Tree Rat Patrol while da gwass is gween!

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs! Dis is AIT Sleepy. I went to da Room of Doom inna time machine wif Hoomom yesterday, jus' to keep Agent Nod compny. Can you beweive it? She <u>wikes</u> to go! I fink she's cwazy, so I showed Hoomom I wanted to go. Nod got a poke from Dr. Love, an' den we bof got weighted! I weigh 8.5 pounds now, an' Hoomom says dat's about all I'm gonna get, 'cause I'm almost 11 moons old. I kep an eye on Nod, so she wouldn't give away any secwets, but Hoomom stayed wif us da whole time, so we were safe! When we got home, Blinkin' smelled us an' said she wuz glad she'd stayed home! We got tweets for being such good girls. <img border="0" alt="[Angel]" title="" src="graemlins/angel1.gif" />

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

Agents Super Snoot and Prissy Pwincess reporting in....alas, we had to go to de Room of Doom too....pokes all ober de place.....we were glad we bof were together doh - but we got tweets when we got home...so we survived!
De last weekend we had some oder agents ober to our house to pway....well, we are twying to recruit dem.....but dos hoomans didn't leave us alone vewy long at any time.....they thought dey wanted to be wid us and laugh at us pwaying....oh well...we will keep twying to recruit more agents for de cause! Off to take a nappie - we ink we deserve it!!! :)

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs! Dis is Nod, reportin' in! Yes, Hoomom took me to the Room of Doom today, to get my other poke - dis time, it wuz da wabies shot. An' then, she took me to PetsMart, and got my feeties chopped off! But all wuz not lost! We found 2 hoomans who have 2 dachsies at home! Den da guy at the moneygrab machine gave me a dog biscuit, an' when Hoomom got her 'spresso, da hoowiman inna box gave me 3 dog biscuits - do I give the L@@K, or what? So we went to da SPCA, an' I got my 3-year license. I saw a kitty there,an' I wuz bein' nice, but it didn't like me. Den we came home. Mommy will be talkin' wif da 2 hoomans who got 2 dachsies, so potential agents may be forthcoming! Nod over an' out. The birds fly low. Repeat: The birds fly low.

[TessieMom]

Hellow fellow Agents! Dis is Agent Bouncer. Boy am I glad to hear from some agents, I was worried dat da Hoopeople had busted our group up. I has lots to report. Da foster agents I twained have gone to forever homes and I have 2 new ones. Da baby boy has potential cause he is only 7.2 pounds and he can get into places dat a slightly chubby standard girl (28 pounds) can't get to... but first we gots to make sure he is house bwoken cause he leaves a pee twail everywhere. HooMom says it is his allergy shot and pills he takes for all da hair he is missing. Da other guy is a senior and is really smart, but can't see very well. Anyways I am planning a big mission to get some of dat dessert dat dose other agents got.

HooMom took me to a groomer dis week. Can you believe it? Da las time she took me to dis woman an I walked out, but she carried me back in. I took care of dat cause I told dat woman dat I would eat her comb. She didn't do much after dat. Dis groomer was a guy an he was nice. He told me I was beautiful... I let him do a short summer cut of my wirey locks. He jus left my beard and eyebrows... jus in time cause it is gonna be hot when da poison dwops stop falling. I needs to go to da room soon, but I is puttin it off for now. Gots to go twoll. Bouncer out.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs. Dis is agents Blinkin', Nod, and AIT Sleepy. Our hoomom got a new time machine yesterday, and we haven't gotten to goferide yet - we fink she is secwetly getting rid of our noseprints, 'cause they dint come off! We haven't eben seen da new time machine, either, but we know where it is! We are off to plot an excues to get in the time machines crate and sniff it over! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy over and out. The grass is green. Repeat: the grass is green.

[dutchman]

Agents Silver Fox and Long Tail reporting in form an oven they call Colorado. We have been laying low for some time. Big things starting to happen here. Dad tells us we are getting something called a fooster brother. He was suppose to join us today but something happened and now it's suppose to be tomorrow before he arrives. Dad says the big house was about to send him to the bridge and that he has the reputation of being a nipper towrads hoomans. We are going to have to teach him how to use the look. Dad says he's not sure how long this fooster will be with us.

Sind we were ready to get out in the car today to pick up the fooster dad decided to give us a reid to Peet Smart. What he didn't tell us was he taking Long Tail so the people ther could use the nail torture devices on him. Dad used those on my nails today but the Tail put up too big a fight. Dad held me and I had to watch as first they put Long Tail on a table and slipped a noose around his neck. He put up a good fight and might have beat the system but dad told them to go ahead and put a soft muzzle on him. All I could do is watch in terror as they worked him over one foot at a time. He fought his way free more than once. He told me aftewards he was trying to make it to the edge of the table so that he could hang himself before he spilled any DWD secrets. He somehow made it out of that torture chamber without givng out any of our screts. To add insult to injury dad told us no bullies today that our bullie money went to pay for the torture.

We will try to report back on this fooster brother thing. Any other agents have experience with these foosters? Can we trust him?

Silver Fox reporting while Long Tail is resting trying to recover.

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer port'n in. Agents Silver Fox and Long Tail, I has had lots of spearience with foosters. Most of dem can be twusted once you trains dem. I has two of dem fooster boys now and one was sposed to be an agressive biter. He is weally little and will be of great value for our missions cause he can get where da odder agents can't. De odder one is an old guy with cataracts, but he is so smart he figured out how to open de plastic things dat HooMom keep da dry food in -- he did weally well 2 days in a row! Da nex fooster is another biter. I jus tells dem, I is da boss and dey can forgets da biting. Most of da nippers just are fraid of hoopeople and dey needs to learn how to twain dem without nipping. Sorry bout da feeties.

Agents Blinkin'and Nod and AIT Sleepy, grab da keys to da time machine and check it out! Da grass is definitely green. Agent Bouncer port'n out.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow/gal agents and AITs. Dis is almost- agent Sleepy 'portin' in for Blinkin' and Nod, too. Dis mornin' we hadda tell our hoomom dat some kitties were in trubble on our fence. She came runnin' fast, but dint know what to do, 'cause she's lergic to kitties. Hoomom sed dey were jus' babies - mebbe 8 weeks old, and one was weally havin' eye trubbles - its eyes wer red and matted shut. So she took 'em in Blinkin's pet taxi an' lef in dat new time machine to get 'em to da SPCA. We got tweets 'cause we tol hoomom 'bout da kitties! So fewwo agaents and AITs, 'member to be onna lookout for kitties who need rescuin' - dey can spread da word 'bout how vewwy kind we dachsies are, so dey'll be on our side when dat great day comes, an' we rule da WORLD! Da grass is still green - repeat: da grass is still green! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and almost-agent Sleepy over and out. <img border="0" alt="[walking]" title="" src="graemlins/walking.gif" />

[Shay]

Dis is Agent Jazzel 'portin' in. I twried to post one day earlier, but dis board is a bit different dan it used to be, so i tink I clickted da wrong ting. Da hoomom and hoodad hogs da puter, sometimes I can sneaks on da hooboy puter late at nite...he he he! Good ting you finded dose kitties agents! We finded one about a few moons ago, da hoomom was donna keeps it, but we has a foster dat is not nice to kitties, so he wented to a kitty rescuer....dat rescues wolves too, but da wolves don't eat da kitties. We lives wid a cat, she tinks she is da alpha, HA! To oder DWD agents living wif kitties, advice: if you live wif kitties, let dem tink dey are da boss!!

AIT Wiggles has now become a full agent, she is good wif da look, too good, her gotted so many tweats dat way, her is gotta have a DIET!

I got lots to catch up on wif da DWD postings, but would like to welcome all new agents and AIT's, one day the DWD will accomplish it's mission.

Jazzel out, trolling duty.

the sky is purple, i repeat the sky is purple!

[Dolly's Mom]

~Operation Eggroll~

Dis is Agent Grub and Squeek 'portin in. We have been working underground.....well trying to anyway....in our quest for good Chinese food. See, we know where the route is to get there, but it's a loooooong way and we has been diggin' and diggin' and diggin' more. Our tummies sure do get dirty but it's worth it for good chop suey. Hoomom and hoodad are not amused with our accomplishments. They keep saying sumptin about not getting their deposit back. Whatever!
:rolleyes: There is still much work to be done and now we have to work around obstacles that mommy has put down to keep us from digging. Agents Grub and Squeek off to our mission to China for Egg Foo Young. <img border="0" alt="[yelclap]" title="" src="graemlins/yelclap.gif" />

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs. Dis is Agent Blinkin', wif Agent Nod and AIT Sleepy standin' by. We have 'portant news: Hoomom had 4 moles removed yestiddy - we woulda done it, if she'd told us first! Today, she went to HER room of Doom and had HER toofies cweaned! But da bestest news is: when she got home inna time machine bof dayz, WE got tweets! Be sure to mesmerize your hoomans to do dis, too! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and AIT Sleepy over an' out. The grass is still green. Repeat: the grass is still green.

[dutchman]

Agent Silver Fox reporting in. Agent Longtail is pouting. Our hodad says it's oofical that fooster is going to be with us fur ever. We are working on a name for him. Longtail is pouting cause the new agent is less than half his size but can stop his expert wrestling moves with just one look. Wese long hair boys want to know iff your crew cut guys can stare that good. This new guy is so mall and springy he can leap places we cant get to and sneak through the smalles holes. We are working on the training. Dad says we go to the big meeting Saturday where we agents get to exchange ideas with a lot of other agents. Last year there was about 150 agents there.

Silver Fox

P.S. we are trying to hold our pee as much as possible just in case some fool starts a grass fire in the empty lot next to us with outlawed boom sticks.

[Rudy and Brandys mom]

Dis is Agents Super Snoot and Prissy Pwincess checking in......we are glad dat dere is to be a new agent dat can get in small holes.....kewl....also, you agents keep diggin' to China.....no tellin' what you will find!!! Glad de moles are gone and teefies are clean for de hoomom.....We agents have a new fwiend named Duke-we will begin de twaining wid him....and get him out dere in de field.....we continue to patrol our neighborhood for de birds and squirrels dat keep us alert......we are off to take a well deserved nappie now!!!! De Flowers smell good....we repeat....De Flowers smell good...Ober and out.....to de Big Bed we go!!!

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fewwo agents and AITs! Dis is Agent Sleepy - i sneaked back and took de oaf! I am specially good at stubborn, da look, sniffin' butts and hoardin' nummies! We are havin' dis ting called a "bowwow" in about 42 dinners, and Hoomom has sum frens comin' , along wif Agents Grub an' Squeak - don know how many more of dem are comin', but some are already agents, so we'll be workin' on convertin dose udders! My pack agents and I getta goferide wif Hoomom to an auntie's house inna new time machine - we gib her da L@@K and score lotsa tweets! Agent Sleepy 'portin' in for Agents Blinkin' and Nod, who are savin' up energy for da twip.
Da sky is blue: repeat - da sky is blue. Ober and out.:flower:

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer reporting... congwatulations to Agent Sleepy for promoshun to full agent status and my sympathy to Agents Silver Fox and Long Tail for having to share treaties with da new guys -- but he will be good for da effort. HooMom jus sent my tiny guy to a new home for a trial basis, I misses him terribly. Dis is not da first time dis has happened either... I gets dem twained and dey leave. NO FAIR!!! Da old guy foster is chewing da dog door up, so it stays open all da time... dis is NOT good, but he will not listen... he is hungrey all da time. Agents Grub and Squeek, can I have some of dat Chinese food? I loves Chinese and I is a good digger. How far is it to your yard? Sooper Snoot and Prissy Pwincess how is da dessert coming? Agent Bouncer, lookin for a cool spot in Texas since the AC is going to the outside through da holes in da dog door!

[Dolly's Mom]

Agents Squeek and Grub here 'portin' in from Solitary Confinement. Seems our China Mission met with stiff opposition from the hooparents and now we are in trubbo. Now when the hooparents go to work (silly hoomans, why would they want to go to work when you can play all day) we have restricted access to the outside world and to our mission of Kung Pao Kitty Cats in China. We only get to be in the house and the connecting garage. Now we ask you, how is a grrrrrl to get a suntan in THOSE tonditions? Well, actually Squeek doesn't need a suntan as she is burnt black already. Anyway, back to our dilemma. We need a jail break, that's what we need! Any of you agents willing to sneak to Santa Maria and break us out of House Arrest? Hmmmmm?

Agents Grub and Squeek on and under the table. ALERT! The grass is greener on the other side of the fence! REPEAT! The grass is greener on the other side of the fence!

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fewwo agents and AITs - Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy 'portin in. We feel your pain, Agents Squeak an' Grub! Don' worry! New Agent Sleepy has begun TWO holes (Hoomom is not happy!) an' you can take 'em ober when you get here and continue your China mission! She is a cwafty agent - took off outta da door, past da time machine an' out on da stweet 2 dinners ago - wif Hoomom in hot pursuit. She sez she was out to make converts of de 2 dachsies which are what Hoomom calls "cat-de-wampus" from us, but we, Blinkin' and Nod, tink she wuz lookin' for TRIMS! Oops! Nod miscounted - now it's 42 dinners till sum ob de fewwo agents come inna time machines to bisit for dat Bowwow thingy. We can't wait! Da last Bowwow wuz good for lotsa tweets frum da HooAunts and HooUncles, an' we plan to milk ourz for all we are worth! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy, over and out. Da flowers smell good. Repeaet: da flowers smell good!:circle:

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITs, dis is Agent Sleepy. I have added a new talent to my sparkling career - I am a painter! I helped Hoomom today - didja know dat whiskers are like paintbrushes? I also should tell you dat my sissie, Nod, can dwive! She has watched Hoomom dwive dat time machine, and she sez she can do it! My sissie, Blinkin, is famous for wookin' soooooo helpless, dat hoomans mostly do what she wants, so we are weally gettin ready for you-know-what! Agent Sleepy, over and out. The coast is clear. Repeat: the coast is clear! :flush:

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer 'portn in. HooMom has definitely gone cwazy. First der's one foster, den der are 2, now der are 3 and maybe a 4th coming. Will someone pwease tell her to stop? She says she will spend da day with us, but der is too many fosters... we could run out of food! I wants to learn to drive da time machine so I can get away from all dis congestion and toy stealing. Wouldn't someone like a new brother or sister? Der's 3 more at da shelter place dat kills agents. We needs help! I wants to learn to paint too. Dat could release all dis tension! Da TRIMS and BIMS are really busy and we heard about dis West Nile Virus ting... maybe we should get rid og the BIMS? Bouncer out on yard troll. Da grass is not only green, it is tall!

[Dolly's Mom]

Good evening fellow and girl agents, dis is Agents Grub and Squeek 'portin in from JAIL. At first it was only house arrest for being "hooligans". That's hoomom's word for it. Now because we were being diligent agents and getting hoomom out of bed 'bout 3 times a night, we have to now sleep in JAIL and not in the big bed. We've never slept in a cwate before but we are managing. Last night was our fiwst night and....well, I'll let Squeek tell ya how she felt about it. Squeek here. I dinna like it attall! I squeeked and squeeked at the closed door. (We're in the 2nd bedroom with cwates but they are left open.) I just knew mommy would not be able to weezist my cute cwies of unhappiness for not being in the big bed, but I WAS WONG!! Mommy nor Papa never came to wescue us and we had to sweep in da "doxie" woom all night. I'd give yittle squeeks just to voice my displeasure but even mommy said I wasn't too bad my first night in jail. Dolly as usual, slept like a log. Must have been all those cookie crumbs that mommy would spwinkle in our cwates so that we could be usted to them. Help us to have stwength, agents, as our jail term will be until we moooove to our new house where mommy and papa are hoping that we will fordet our mission to China for Kung Pao Kitty Cats.
With all due respect, Agent Bouncer, we'd say you are being run over by those foster kids. It's a good thing, dough. It means more agents for DWD and your mommy is helpin' da cause but......psssst.....don't tell her dat.
Hoomom went on a spy mission and met with agents Sleepy, Blinkin' and Nod's mommy. We hope our good agents in Bakersfield were diligent to catch any plot being hatched by the hoomans.
Time to go check our hidey holes before we get put into jail again. Agents Grub & Squeek out and under the fence (we wish).
The Grass is tall and wet! The Grass is tall and wet!

[TessieMom]

CONGWATULATIONS AGENTS GRUB AND SQUEEK!!! Dis is Agent Bouncer and I jus read under the HooPeople posts about how you has scaped from jail and are back in da BIG BED. We is all very pwoud of your control of you HooMom!!! Agents Bouncer, Lover, Hugger, Missy and 3 foster boys -- dats 6 in bed and one under da bed cause he is a twouble maker and dats where I keeps him

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fewwo agents and AITs, we are Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy 'portin' in. Our hoomom is bery xcited! She is goin' to see some thingy called "Lippizaners" 2 nite, and we dunno bout dis! She told us dey are like tall dachsies, an' dey do tricks - couldn't possibly be better'n ours, though! Do you fewwo agents fink we have anyting to worry 'bout? She saw dem in 1974, also - is dis becoming a habit? Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy over and out. Da bones are buried. Repeat: da bones are buried. :confused:

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer portin in... HooMom is going to dat JamAkah place agin to teach stoodents and we has our pet sitter back. We has da help yourself food machine, da help yourself water and our dog door all ready for 2 weeks of independent living. We would likes to invite all agents in for da big party we has planned... Agent Bouncer out to find out where dose bones are buried...

[MARTHA]

Dis be Agent SM and Agent Bugs portin in. Bugs iz bizee at da moment so I, SM will be doin da portin. Agent Bouncer pease secret code da time dat da party startz and be an Bugs will be dere wid bells on. We lubs a partay...

Agent Bouncer wez gotz a question fer you. How do youz deal wid all dem Foster agents. We gotz two rite now and itz da firs time we had dem. Dey iz Big Girls - dey is Standardars and I don't know how farz I can poosh dem. Dey iz Mommie and Babie and I beginin to like dem sum but I not weal fond of anybodie eating sumfin in my house I iz lookin on da brite side dey iz big an cood be weal useful in sum of our missions. Soooo andy advice dat you hab I will preciate it.

Gotz to go - one of dem fosters iz lookin in my tweat jar and dat is a no-no. Not eben Agbent Bugz getz in my tweat jar.

Agents SM and Bugs out trollin wid da Big Girls

[TessieMom]

Agent SM, dis is da Bouncer... can't set da time tell da HooMom leaves town... will see how I can connect da puter when she leaves...

As far as fosters go... after HooMom, I is alpha ... I just herds dem around and bosses dem. HooMom says I mus have border collie in me cause I uses my voice to yell and shout orders. One of da 3 went to another foster home today cause da long haired guy kept trying to bite him. Da only weally big gwirls I had to herd were beagle dachs dat were mother and daughter... dey were a handful... Tonight is really quiet and I tinks it is zzz time. Agent bouncer out.......

[MARTHA]

Agent Bouncer diz iz Agent SM - took yer advice an just started herdin dem big girlz. Dey weally not too bad. I splained to dem dat I wuz in charge after Mom an dey diddnt rgue wid me. Last nite we played chase da mousie. (I dont fink dere wuz weally a mousie dere but it wuz fun) Agentz are always on trol duty. Da Fosters hab been dopted so dey will be leavin soon. Jus when I wuz gettin dem in twainin to be good agents. Dese big girlz can reach in places where us smaller doxies caan't. Mus get bax to to my trolin duty. Agen Bugs may be nappin on da job soz I needz to make surez dat eberting iz ok ...

Agent SM out and trolin...for a good resturant dat delibers

[Heidismom]

Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy 'portin' in. We had our bowwow thingy yesterday, and agents Squeak and Grub came, wif dere hooparents. :bounce: We enjoyed dere bisit, and got a new hoouncle who is a dachsie whisperer - wookout! He put 3 of da 5 dachsies to sleep wif bewwy rubs! We are sad to 'port dat our sissie, Sleepy, wuz not a berry good hostess! She wuz after Agent Squeak, and Agent Grub hadda step in once or twice to 'mind her to be p'lite! Oh, da shame! :eek: We did get lotsa tweets, case Hoomom and da new hoouncle (he has a dachsie boy dat we were gonna convert, but he has had TREE back surgerees, and hadda stay home wif his hoogranparents)had tweets for us, and all we girrrls had dinner here, as well - full tummies and good nappin! We 'scussed pwans to convert more agents, and pweez be aware dat Agents Squeak and Grub hab moved to a new town an' cannot post for a bit while dey get da new 'puter system set up! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy over and out. Da tummies are full! Repeat: da tummies are full! :raz:

[Heidismom]

Dis is agent Sleepy, 'portin' in. I got to go to skool wif hoomom dis mornin', only dere were no hookidz. Hoomom sez dey'll be back nex week - sigh! I wuz all prepared to snare 'em wif de L@@K. But I did patrol Hoomom's cwasswoom and I caught a moth for her. She wanted to see if de new furnchure had come, an' it did! I had wots of boxes to 'vestigate! I also got to see some hookids - one ob de techurs had her hookids helpin' (bet DEY didn't catch any moths wike me!) Hoomom sez Iam goin' to doggie day care tomorrow - I getta stay wif my hooaunt, Brenda - she finks I can walk on water, so I should get wots of tweets! I made sure dat skool wuz safe frum kitties, and moths! WHen we came back home inna time machine, my sissies, Blinkin' and Nod, checked me all ober for smells - I fink dey are jealous! No dachsies to 'port forswaying to our gweat cause, doh. Agent Sleepy, ober and out. Da gwass is yewwo. Repeat: da gwass is yewwo. :circle: :circle:

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer 'portn in. HooMom is back and I didn't gets to have da party... need to plan ahead for next time. HooMom has been go'n to skool, but I has not had a chance to go see da studunts... I know dat some of dem is back but Mommy says dat I can not go. Tings are very quiet here after HooMom got back. She got us all Booda Chewies today frum sumplace called Tuesday Morning. I luvs dem. I has 6 of dem stacked up beside me while I chews one... all de oder agents are sleepy, so I can have dem all. Agent Hugger jus stole 4, but I likes de peanut budder one I is workn on. Agent Bouncer out. Da peanut budder booda is nummy!

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer again. I jus overheard HooMom talk'n about a new class I gets to take. Have any oder agents done something called "Rally-O"? I jus wants to know what I is gett'n into cuz I likes bedience an dis is da same teacher. Last week she tol me I was so good dat I almos lost my concentrashun. HooMom says I is gett'n too big a head since da CTDR folks used my picture for der Corner Store logo an on shirts and mugs (don't know where dem flowers came from). I tinks it is jus right. Agent Bouncer out looking for Rally-O rules for Hoo people to follow.
http://www.ctdr.org/images/cafepress/lulu_cutout_card.gif

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer!!! I has done it!!! It has been soo qwiett here while Agent Lover is in da hospital, dat I stole HooMom's Avatar and repwaced it wid my pictur. I is soo good. Agents Hugger and Missy sed dat dey is gonna put der pictur up when I goes to Rally-O class. Got to fwigger out how to keep dat from happening. Bouncer out to find more picturs.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and aits! Dis is Nod, 'portin' in. I got to go to a hooaunt's house yesterday, in her time machine. We watched a baseball game....well, I watched me hooaunt in case she was gonna eat somefin. Anyhow, I scored a major coup! Da hooaunt's 2 doglets are not dachsies :crying: , but dey say we have have da world, as long as dey still get goodies and food. I also got to eat 1/4 of da hooaunt's tuna samich! Yummy! :cunning: It was my turn to go, 'cause Agent Sleepy gotta go dere twice for doggie daycare 2 weeks ago.
Uh-oh! Hoomom is wookin' for da floor dragon! Agent Nod, over and out! Da tweets are good! Repeat: da tweets are good!:greensq:

[MARTHA]

Dis izz Agen SM portin in fer me an Agent Bugs. Wez haz sum new fosters dat wez iz workin on twainin. Dey iz boyz di tme AGent Bouncer. I hab been takin yer advice an keepin dem in line. I hab eben sent one or two ob dem to da hall to da dog bed (oh horrors). Wez been dooin sum out of town trollin and wez looked fer infor to hep da DWD. We did pick up a new foster while we wuz trolin an made sure da all wuz safe in da area dat we wuz in. Course da lokayshun is a secret.

Gotz to go check on dem foster boyz. One of dem ain't too brite. He jumpeded in da shower wid da hoo-boy, da hoo boy put him out, and he jumpeded back in. Da hoo-boy finally letz him takez a shower wid him and puts SOAP and SHAMPOO on hem. I dink dat iz awful but dat sill boy had a gud timez... I keepz tellin Mom dat I zi a dry klean only model. Den she sez dat she on haz Wash and Waree and Dwip Dwy... whateber dat meenz.

I'm gonna get dat loooong big foster to nock da tweats down and dem tell him dat dey iz pozun to boyz...he he he he

Agen SM and Bugs ober an outz to do da goddie ting...

[TessieMom]

Dis is da Bouncer port'n in. Tings has been a bit confused round here with Agent Lover in da hospital. However, she is home and feel'n pretty good for an old lady. Da good news is dat since she and da old guy foster got home from da hospital, dey has been gettn special meals in da morning in addition to night foods. Dat was not fair! So all agents gave HooMom da look an now we gets a morning meal too...

I miss hearing from all da agents out dere though. How is da train'n doing, Agents SM and Bugs? Did you get dose boyz in line?How about Agents Blinkin, Nod, and Sleepy, any good stuff to port in? Grub and Squeeky are you guys out of jail yet?

Guess I'd better go troll while da weather is nice... Bouncer out to sniff da grass which is still green.

[MARTHA]

hewwo agents - dis agent sm portin for me an agent bugs. weiiz weal busy wid da foster boyz. we gotz one sent off las nite to a maybe fereber home. wez still gotz two boyz and dey is a handful. speically da rexie boy. him getz da ol snip and clip job mundey. mom waited a cuple of weekz coz he wuz so skinnie. him haz no idee whut iz gonna happen... he is a weal busy fella. skooter has to makez him sit down and behave. she got dat tone ob voice dat werks on dese boyz and she ain't az big as hizz haid!. I putz him in his place too! Hez got da message dat I iz firstest at da food bowl and he can hab sum when I decides dat he can. I dont kare whut Mom sez...pleeze dont tell her I sed dat.

I gtoz sum big big newz...I cotz thrwee mousies las nite. Mom gotz up once an I pulleded it out ob da place where I hidz it frum da fosters, She tol me it wuz weal nice and den she scweameded fer da BOY. Da BOY gotz up an tookz my prwize away humf....well i showeded ddem dat I had more... Affer eberbodies went back to sleepie I gotz up an got me two more of dem little boogers an putz dem in Momz bed Tee hee tee hee an I dareded any ob dem fosters to touch it.... well Mom wokeded up and got up an when she cam back in da bedwoom she saw sumfin on da bed beside us puppers, wellllll, she turneded on da light and den she scweameded agin fer da BOY... he comez out ob his dungeon and an tookeded my prizes agin. humpf...I am not a happy agent rite now. Da BOY wuz weally laffin at her dis time. I ceriouslee finkin bout leabing dem pwesentz in dere shoez. humpf.

I gotz to go - I still gotz to wide herd on da two fosters dat we gotz and dey is pawful at timez...but nuffin daat me an agent bugs cant hanndle.

Agen Bouncer we iz so glad dat AGent lover is out ob da hossipital. Itz not a fun place to stae or bisit. wez avoicz it az much az we kan!

I gotz to go - I jus assineded myself tweat guard duty.itz a ruff job but sumbody gotz to do it....

Agent SM ober and out and trollin in da tweat zone

[blazeman]

hewwwo... Dis is new agent lil turd (my pops calls me that when gets into stuff I ain't allow to eat...) Can I become parts of the DWD?

I am learnin all sorts of kool stuff from all yall on how to get my hooman mad at me... best part... he still hugs me and pets me in the end... I have him SOOOOO wrapped around my little paw...

I will B the best agent I can... but that is all for now... pops is coming to take me outside... wondew if I can find something new to eats... YuMMY

Agent lil turd pawing off...

[TessieMom]

Agent Bouncer 'portn in. Congwatulations Agent SM on da mousies, I am weally impressed -- could you send some. Also, good job on da foster twaining.

Agent in Training (AIT) lil turd, you sound like you will be excellent in our cause. I is not da senior agent, but I knows how to get you started. To become fully briefed, you needs to go back to the earlier com centers and be sure to take the oath (I tinks it is Dolly's Mission impossible?). Be sure to show topics back to the beginning and read at least the first 3 or 4 to find it... den you will be ready to go to work on our mission. Agent Bouncer out.

[blazeman]

hewwwwo again DWD Agents! This is AIT lil turd pawing in again. I have just barked the oath and would like to contune to help the cause! What esle does I need to do to become a full Agent? I will do what you say as I am just a young pup. Mold me to be the berry best Agent of the DWD!

I needs to tell you what happened to me last night over my hooman grandmas house... I was almost caught by the BIG BAD GORiLLAs! It was scared until I realized... I HAVE RAZER SHARP TEEFF! I think the hidden camera the hooman's have in the room got a shot of me kickin some gorilla butt!

http://jake.blazeman.com/albums/jake/IM000714.sized.jpg

Well I am a tired little one after my battle with the gorilla! I needs some sleep... where is dat pillow...

AIT lil turd pawing off (and dreaming of being a full agent some day... zzz...zzz

[TessieMom]

Dis is Agent Bouncer. AIT Lil Turd I am most impressed with your giant animal victory. Such accomplishments surely will make you worthy of becoming a full Agent in no time. Please let us know of your other exploits... Agent Bouncer out to sniff the grass which is still green.

[Heidismom]

Hewwo, fellow agents and AITS -'specially new AIT Lil Turd! Agents Blinkin', Nod, and Sleepy 'portin' in. We fink we have a sitchuwayshun here - da Hoomom is goin' to Sandy Eggo to bisit some hooaunts and about 8 oder dachsies. We don't fink dey are agents, but not too sure. We doan get to go - we are stayin' home to be spoiled by a hooaunt. Agents Squeak and Grub - do you know if dey are agents? If not, we are busy concoctin' a pwan to send a secwet message to dose dachsies, an' enlist 'em up for de cause! De twees here are startin' to drop de clothes, but de grass is still green. No poison drops to speak of, but we are pwannin' to do somefin to de door where the floor dragon lives - prolly when Hoomom leaves! :fierce: Agents Blinkin', nod, and Sleepy signin' off. De biscuits are grey. Repeat: de biscuits are grey. :book: