Wondering When

[doxi1myheart]

I am wondering when the hurt and tears will start to subside. Miss Pickle has been gone for weeks now, and my heart still feels very empty and broken. Isabella, having her, taking care of her, has brought joy, but there was only 1 Pickle (even though there's alot in common-of course we weren't trying to "replace" our baby). I know that my "pumpkin" as I called her, stops often and gazes back across the bridge at her broken-hearted mommy and daddy before being coaxed off to play by her many friends on the other side. I also know that she is very happy that we are giving her mommy the same kind of loving home that we gave her. I still am amazed that I could grieve over a pet like I have since Pickle went to the other side. I am slowly learning to stay more composed, learning to hide the hurt for more opportune times. I am just wondering when it will start to get easier, or does it ever get any easier? She etched herself deeply into my heart and soul.

[Ruthi]

It does get easier,your pain is still fresh! Every now and then something will remind me of one of my bridge babies and the sorrow will return but not as bad as the first time!:hearts::hearts::hug2::hug2:

[Brooke]

It takes so much time. Chances birthday party is tomorrow and I was thinking of bringing up Charlie and saying a thank you for how much he helped me to find Chance, and all I could do was sob...it's been a year this June 31st.

[red&black]

My first dog, Ebony, died 5 years ago this May 24.
I still can't look at her grave.

Pickle's urn and ashes came today. My sister has them. Not sure when I will be able to take possession of them. Can't think much about it right now because I have to hold it together for work.

Having her mama has helped. Fortunately Izzy doesn't act exactly like Pickle - not sure how I could handle it if they were too much more alike. Pickle looked just like a red version of her mama. And now we know where Pickle's snorting and grunting came from - she inherited that from Izzy for sure.

A litter of Pickle's siblings (paternal) are due pretty much any minute now. Curious to what they'll look like.

And doxi1myheart, don't downplay what you nicknamed that baby.. it's wasn't just "pumpkin." He called her the "Great Pumpkin" ;)

[doxi1myheart]

That "Great Pumpkin" of ours has left her paw prints all over my heart (considering getting that as my next tattoo). I have to clear my head and heart, get a shave and shower, and focus on getting through another night at work. She was special, and I thank God for the time that he gave me with her (even if it was way too short)

[keri1113]

I don't really know what to say...I'm crying right now...Miss Pickle touched every single one of us. We all feel like we have lost someone we loved. I think you just have to go through the stages of grieving. There is no rules about how long that will take. My Grandpa has been dead for years now and I still cry when I see things that remind me of him. I don't think you are ever the same after the loss of a loved one. Just know that we are all here for you and we are all grieving for Miss Pickle.

[doxi1myheart]

Folks like you who have shown kindness, caring, and compassion to us during this dark, sorrowful time have made the burden bearable. We live in a cold, cruel world, and going to the mailbox with a heavy heart, and seeing the wonderful card that you thoughtfully sent reminded me that there are indeed angels among us. Thank you for sharing your heart with me and Lisa. That gesture touched us, means/meant more to us than you'll ever know.

[LucyWyatt'sMom]

After Leroy:angel: died and we were waiting to bring his ashes home I cried all the time but once he was home again with us, I did start to feel better for I knew he was safe at home once again. Wee Lucy help to ease the pain a lot, she is nothing like him but I know Leroy sent her to us.:hearts:

Time heals pain but it never takes away all the wounderful memories.:hearts:

I talk of Miss Pickle a lot and I just joined the club, but I felt like I knew her for she was going though the same thing Leroy went though days before. She was a very brave wee lady. I know Leroy and her :hug2:are having a great time running around and giving kisses to everyone.

Thinking of you and your family:rayz::rayz::rayz:

[Orchid Crazy]

I am so sorry you are hurting. The loss will lessen, but it will never go away. You loved her and she was a part of you. We lost 2 cats in February, we are still crying over them. When I speak of a cat I lost about 12 years ago, I cry over her because I do still miss her. Healing comes, it just takes time.

[Suzanne R]

Of course you're still grieving. It took me almost 2 years to decide to adopt a furkid again, after my Tumbleweed went to the bridge, after many long and terrific years with me. It will take a very long time; everyone grieves in a different way, and at a different pace. No other furkid will ever replace Miss Pickle but I'll bet she's thrilled that you have her mom. We still cry over your loss, too. I'm sorry it still hurts so much. :hug2::hug2: I wish I could do more.:hug2:

[Amos' Mom]

I just wanted you to know that I have never stopped longing for my loved ones I've losted. We lost our 13 year old doxie in 2005, our 23 year old Tilly (cat) in 2006, then on Christmas day our beautiful 12 year old Mackenzie (doxie) to cancer. I still think of them every day and still cry about them also. I decided this year to build a memorial for them in our yard. I cut out and made the frame out of wood and filled it with different colored stones and made a pattern inside the area and were the white stone lay I had head stones made for each one of them and I am not sure why but it sort of made me feel better. When my husband arrived home from his trip he was shocked to hear I did it and by myself but he also liked it and though it was a great idea. Our cute new little Amos has helped that acking in our hearts and we love him dearly. But we still grieve!:candle:

[Cocoa and Me]

Time will help lessen your pain :sob: And depending on the person, it takes more or less time. This May makes 4 years since I lost Pebbles, a shi-tzu who I called my "little ewok". I can barely talk about her as being gone, I can only talk about things we did together, or how she was my best childhood friend. I'm not so sure that time actually heals our pain. It seems like maybe it masks our pain. As time goes on, new memories are made, and someday, you'll be able to look back and think of your furbaby as the sweetie that you love and miss, but you won't hurt nearly as much. I wish I could tell you that it was easier, but we're only human...compassionate humans.
I am so sorry about Miss Pickle. :hug2: We're here for you :grouphug:

[HawaiiDoxieLover]

I'm sorry you are hurting so much. Like everyone else said, the hurting will lessen in time. We know this because we've all been through it; I've been through it with my 18 year old, his daughter who was almost 13 that I lost to cancer, and two puppies from my girl's litter. I can still see their tiny little faces; that will haunt me for the rest of my life. But I have my boy...the runt of the litter!
It will be easier because you have Izzy and now Mama too...give the puppers extra hugs and smoochies for me!:hearts::hearts:

[vferraro99]

It is very normal for you to still be hurting this much. It's been such short time. I still cry when I read the postings on Miss Pickle, and remember so vividly how shocked I was when the news came of her passing. Don't worry, it will pass. One day you'll remember her fondly and will smile remembering the antics of the Great Pumpkin.

God bless!

[ame8199]

I know I will be a complete mess when I lose Zach (hes only 2 so I hope I have a while) Its not easy when you lose someone/something who is engraved so deep into your heart and soul. These dogs are the loves of our lives..if they werent..we wouldnt be on this board.

I believe griving takes a life time and never goes away. You will always grive...it depends on the person on how they handle the grief.

[Tucker's Mom]

After losing our last dachsie (prior to Tucker), it took us 6 long years before we both felt comfortable enough to let another furbaby into our hearts. They wiggle their way into your heart and soul with such a firm grip that losing one is devestating. Your wound is still fresh and you deserve to grieve. Know that we are here to support you in that grief.

[daionara]

It probably doesn't help much but I can promise you that with time the hurt gentles. My Abbigail has been gone two years the 24th of this month. I miss her like crazy, but there isn't so much hurt. Oh I still get teary eyed occasionally, but mostly I think of the sweet and funny moments we shared and I have firm belief that I will see her again.

[cweldon]

Maxie has been gone a little more than 2 months. Some days are better, and some are not. Today is very hard for some reason. It hurts as bad as it did 2 months ago. But it seems there are more better days recently.

I have Maxie's ashes home with me. I am glad I have them, but it isn't her. Sometimes I am so angry - why was she taken away!?!?!?!? Why? I want her back! NOW! But happy and healthy, not sick and in pain. But no matter Who you believe in - S/He doesn't make deals. Anger is a stage in the grieving process I know. So I know I am working through it.

Sorry this probably isn't much help, other than to know we are grieving with you.

[HawaiiDoxieLover]

Do any of your humane societies have Pet Bereavement Support Groups? (I'm so sorry if I've spelled that word wrong). Ours does, but I've never gone. I had a boss that was so upset she had to go.

[HawaiiDoxieLover]

here is our humane society support services page. There are several articles on there including a list of books. I hope this helps. :hug2::hearts:
http://www.hawaiianhumane.org/programs/petloss/index.html

[Mark]

The loss of Miss Pickle has alot of DBBers both misty-eyed and downright bawling. No, this is not unusual for you either . . . after years of having lost Wimpy . . . I still get misty-eyed or crying - and sometimes more. He was & is my hero and always will be.

So . . . don't feel like it is un-normal to still be grieving . . . DBBers *know* this is normal. :)

[maddoxies]

I had the most amazing golden, Kitty (aka Catherine The Great: The great digger, the great chewer, the great pooher). She has been gone for 12 years now and I still choke up sometimes.

I lost Callie 5 years ago to liver cancer. When I came out of the vet's after the final good bye and turned on my van, the radio was playing "In the arms of the angels". I knew I had done the right thing, but to this day, I cannot listen to that song.

I know now that my Champ moved on to make room for Heidi. That boy had such an amazing heart; welcoming all my fosters into "his" home. I know he is running the Welcome Wagon at the Bridge. I still miss him terribly after 2 years.

Time does heal the wounds, but it still stings when you bump the scars.

:hug2: grieve however you need to; we would worry about you more if you didn't.

I found an on-line pet grief support group. Every week they hold a candlelighting service for the pets that have gone to the Bridge. There is an online chat too; I found it a great comfort.

Just talking now about my babies at the Bridge has my eyes watering.

[bjmedd]

I am so sorry for your lost, it is still so fresh. All I can say is that my Abby IS one of my children..she just happens to have fur. There is nothing like the unconditional love of a beloved pet. I push the day Abby will no longer be with me out of my mind, as it is very painful and my heart physically aches just thinking about it. No one judges you for your grief and there is no right time for the pain to lessen. Let yourself go through the process in your own time, numbness, denial, anger, acceptance...I don't know them all, but none of them are feelings that you want to deny yourself or ignore. As a part of this community, we share your grief and we hold your heart in our hands and give you love and hugs the only way we can...but know, that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

[CoppersOtherMom]

Again, I am so sorry for your loss of Miss Pickle. The hurt and ache of loss never completely goes away but it does get better with lots and lots of time. *hugs*

[doxi1myheart]

For the second time since we lost Pickle, I had a long dream. I never remember dreams, but this is 2 that I have remembered (only ones-other than nightmares that I have remembered in years). I was standing in a huge, beautiful, open field full of wildflowers, daisies, and black-eyed Susans-no pup in sight. All of a sudden, Pickle appeared, bounding full-speed toward me. Again in this dream, she was speaking to me-just like 2 humans. This time she was kinda scolding me, telling me to "let her go". She was telling me that after all that she went through, that she would not have been the same had she stayed, that there would be periods of discomfort and pain. She thanked me and her momma for loving her, doing all that we could for her, and she told me that she knew better than to consume the non-food items, that we had scolded, told her many times (even spanked her). She was upset with the guilt that me and Lisa feel. She sent her love to her mom (both human and Belle) and wheeled around and bid a hasty retreat. I think that me calling her is what woke me up. It was very obvious to me in the dream just how moved she was at just how much her momma and me loved her/have hurt over her.

[Suzanne R]

Wow! That wasn't just a dream, it was a message - loud and clear! You know that, right?? Take heed. :hug2::hug2: You just had a communication from Miss Pickle. Some people have the capability to communicate with animals, living and dead. It seems you are one of those people, and you are blessed! :hug2::hearts: (My daughter is one of those people, too.)

[cunhvn]

I do not know how long the pain will last for you, it has been 5 weeks since Missy passed, and sometimes I cry more than I did the day of her passing. I do know it will come to a time when I will be better with it all. Like you. They were our children and it angers me to no end when someone says get over it, it was a dog, oh that makes me so mad. I want to say, what if it was your child? See to me they are my children as I never had children, so these furbabys are my kids, only better than humans, they love so much, unless one has been through the loss of their furfriend, they have not a clue. I think with time and love it will help heal, but the whole in your heart will always have an empty space for Miss Pickle!
Many hugggggggggggssssssssss,

Betty

[ems736336]

I am wondering when the hurt and tears will start to subside. ... I am just wondering when it will start to get easier, or does it ever get any easier? She etched herself deeply into my heart and soul.
No, it never gets any easier. The moments between the hurt turn into minutes and then hours and then days and perhaps even years. But, when you do think of her all the hurt and tears are still there and you will still cry and be so sad for just a short while. The non hurt times become much longer after a while. My empathy is with you. Just know that I still cry for some of the ones who are gone and have been gone for a very long time.

[Stanley's Mum]

There will always be a hole in your heart for Miss Pickle eventually the hurt and tears subside but there will be times throughout the rest of your life that will remind you of her and you will still shed a tear or two or a river. It is perfectly normal to go up and down on the rollercoaster of grief, you will have your good and bad days, take care of yourself - take comfort in Izzy and try to think of the funny times even just to put a smile on your face for just a while. That "great pumpkin" you love so dearly wouldn't want you to hurt and be sad forever just as much as you would never want her to hurt and be sad forever. she knows you are hurting and sad but i know our babies love it more when we are smiling. she knows how much she is loved and will be forever. I know my Max is taking such good care of her . Dachsies touch our hearts and never leave them. :angel: