Caramel, update 12/08

[JunMoll]

Well, I apologize for not posting on her sooner. (other than the power outage:D)
I figure if I don't post it tonight I would not do so for a while again since our son will be back from college tomorrow.

Thanksgiving holiday was horrible for us. Caramel didn't do well at meeting with our son, inspite of all the effort I made. To her our son was a totall stranger and I understood we couldn't expect a quick fix on her behaviors.
She did well on meeting him outside, first 30 minutes in the kitchen and at times she even fell asleep on his lap but other than that she was constantly after him. He grew up with dachshunds and not afraid of dogs but he had to climb on the table more than a few times.
He ended up spending much time in his room and made a fort on the loveseat to protect himself.
Meantime, Molly reacted everytime Cara showed her aggressive behaviors. Molly has started to mark in the house. I am trying very hard not to let it become "inter-bitch aggression" between them.
I felt so bad for our son and Cara as well as the rest of the family. I took Cara with me in my bedroom and cried many times.

I understand much better what need to be done and how things should be handled but that's after much reading and talking with Dr.M. It is not fair for my family to understand all that even though they are trying.
Dr.M told me it would take at least two weeks for her to get used to a new person. Unfortunately our son will be traveling to Japan to see his grandparents during the holidays so it won't be enough time for Cara to get used to him this time again.

I think of the promise I made to Cara everyday and I also remember the prognoses Dr. M gave her. At times I need to take a deep breath and relax.
By the way, I bought an Italian basket muzzle for her just in case. She didn't like it at first but with much treats she is ok with it now.
Thanks for listening. I appreciate your support so much. I will update again.

[Lin]

I am saying lots of prayers:pray::pray::pray: for you I know it is very hard...

[Heidi's Pam]

:hug: :hug: I can imagine all the emotions during your son's visit - you love Cara and understand her fear, but also want so hard for her to learn to accept all of your family. It takes it's toll on everyone. :hug:
Hang in there and just want to give you a :bighug: I will :pray: :pray: for Cara...

[tgbwc]

Along with the others, all I can do is send a big hug to you and hope things get better........

Hang in there and think positive!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LUVMYGUNNER]

You are doing a good job at handling everything-more rays:rayz::rayz::rayz: and prayers:pray: for you. You might want to PM Paul Coover and talk to him-he always has great advise.

[Travmakar]

Big :hug2::hug2::hug2: Hang in there as you said it takes time and you are doing your best :hug2:

[catstamm]

I know you are putting EVERYTHING you have into this ...Bless you for that :hug2:
Behavior modification is a 24/7 job and takes a very long time, so please don't be hard on yourself.
I think it is interesting that she did fine with your son outside, but had problems inside... if you want my thoughts on that, please let me know.
A basket muzzle is a wonderful choice to keep everyone safe and you not crying....
Keep in mind she may always have some little quirks that you need to be aware of and work with....
I hope you are right also about it not being an "female thing" ...and the marking is not a good sign...if Cara isn't picking up the hint from Molly.
I'm always a PM away, if I can help....even for moral support :sillylove:

[JunMoll]

Thanks for your reply.

Well, our son come home and stayed with us for five days before he left to Tokyo yesterday. As expected Cara didn't do well. I realized her aggression towards strangers have not improved at all since she has come to us. On top of that "inter-bitch aggression" got worse as Cara reacted to our son. Between reacting to our son and Molly, Cara ended up in our bedroom with me a lot. Now that our son is gone she is out of the room much of the time again.

On Monday I was convinced that quality of Cara's life was so terrible and we might have to let her go. I guess I was so stressed out it seemed so resonable idea. I spoke to my mentor/good friend who knew Cara and she didn't even disagree with me. I just wanted to speak to Dr M after the holidays (Due to the power outage and holidays I have not spoken to Dr M for three weeks) and also to hear from another professional behaviorist.

On Wednesday, Christmas eve,as I was imagining in my head how I could/ should handle to let Cara go, I realized I could not do such thing. Then my husband just came in the room and said we could not let her go. Within a few minutes our daughter told me she didn't believe in killing living animals. I felt very assured that everyone was on the same page. I knew there had to be more I could do for her.

So I am waiting to talk to Dr M on Monday( I hope she will be back then) and I am planing to try clicker training to calm her down( I am waiting to get the book by mail) I learned pros and cons of using clicker on aggressive dogs so I have to see how it works on Cara. I believe it is more for mental stimulation.
I will let you know how it goes again.
Thanks so much again for your support.:bflower:

[catstamm]

Are you getting the book "Click to Calm" which is specifically on clicker training for agression?

[Suzanne R]

I'm so sorry things are so tough for you all - but it's wonderful that your family supports you in this; that's very important! Sending a TON of :rayz::rayz::rayz::rayz::rayz::rayz: that eventually everything will work out well. Please keep us posted on Cara's situation!:hug2:

[JunMoll]

Hi Cat, Yes I am waiting to get it by mail. It should get here soon.
I have another challenge ahead of me.:D Junji did clicker training and knew the sound and loved it. Everytime I get a clicker and a plastic container top as a target he would pick it up to bring it to me. We live in a small house so he would notice everytime I use the clicker wherever he goes. We'll see how it goes.:laughitup:

[Heidi's Pam]

:angel: Bless you - it has been hard but you and your family are so great for staying committed to working with Caramel. I will :pray: :pray: that with more hard work she will become a calm and integral part of your family. Please keep us posted and my thoughts will be with you as you work through her issues. :hug2:

[LUVMYGUNNER]

We used the clicker training and it is awesome--I always recomment it, so glad you are going to try it. We used it for potty training and other things we wanted them to do, and had great sucess. My daughter who is in the medical field in the military and has some backround with K-9 also approves it. We have also had great sucess with the spray water bottle--this doesn't work for everyone though.
Remember to treat when they do good. :)
You might want to contact Paul and keep him Up to date also.

[stacicakes]

I am so in awe of how hard you are working with Caramel. Keep up the great work I'm sure it will pay off in the end!:hug2: