Sadness Down Under

[minicooper]

A very good friend of mine lost her beloved 'Sally' yesterday.

Sally was a Stumpy Tailed Cattle Dog, and she was 12 years old.

She and my Cooper were only 1 month apart in age, and they spent a lot of time playing together when they were pups.

My heart just breaks for her, and I am finding it hard to know what to say to offer comfort.

RIP Sally ( 12 February 1991 - 30 May 2003)

[Mark]

But sometimes we don't need to say anything other than, "I'm so sorry" and hurt with them, grieve with them and even cry with them. *Being there* for them can mean a lot.

Although we are a bit selfish in being relieved that you weren't posting for yourself, our sincere sympathies to Sally.

[blazeman]

Many times there is nothing you can say. But being there to listen helps. I think looks say more than words sometimes in times like this.

This might seem a litle heartless on my part... but when I saw the subject and who posted it... I was relieved to see it wasn't Cooper, Mini or Rover.

[TessieMom]

Please let them know that dachshund lovers around the world feel their loss and share in their memories of Sally.
Rena and the Waco 8

[dutchman]

Pauline make sure she knows the story of the rainbow bridge. Was it an unexpected loss or was Sally experiencing some ongoing illness? I'll try to look through my grief poems and send you one that seems approprate. While many are dachsie orineted others are very general.

Here is the link for the Argus Institute at Colorado State University that might have some rescources that may help both you and your friend. http://www.argusinstitute.colostate.edu/

Just being a good friend a shoulder to cry on can be a big help. Very soon after I lost Aggie a number of friends from my running club and my Thursday night run group made a collection and one of them brought by a little stuffed dog and a check to help me with the major medical expenses I ran up with Aggie. That check was enough to pay for Franks adoption fee from the local shelter when another friend spotted him there just one week after I lost Aggie. Another friend invited me and some of our mutual friends who had meet Aggie to dinner at her house. The friend that lives closest to my house was very happy when I ask her to drive me out when it was time to pickup Aggie's Ashes. The drive was on some very busy road and I needed to make the trip at rush hour. I didn't trust myself not to burst into tears if I had gone alone. Going with a friend made the trip a lot easier. We talked for teh entire drive some about Aggie some about other things. Having a companion alsong for the trip made a difficult task a lot easier..

I'm sure from talking to you in the chat room and reading your post here on the board just letting you friend know you are there when ever she needs you will be a big help.

Tom and the boys (Frank, Tanner and Dexter)

[lotsadox]

I know what you mean, Bob. When I saw the post my first thought was "Oh, my God, she lost one of her pack. I, too, was relieved and at the same time a little ashamed of my thoughts, but there they are.

Just be there for her. I lost 3 of mine in 2 years and it was devastating. Just having someone sympathetic listen was a great help. Someone who actually knew my dogs was even better.

[onebigmickeyfan]

Pauline,

I know there are no word you can say to her to take her pain. A hug without words goes can mean more than you know. Be a shoulder for her to lean on and cry with her when she needs it. You know better than most people how much she is hurting right now and can be a source of strenghth for her.

I too have to admit a my heart sank when I thought of you loosing Cooper, Mini or Rover and a great relief washed over me when I found out they are all ok.

My prayers are with you both this evening.

[assisivk]

Dear Pauline... It is sad when a person has to go through this. I think the thing is that every person grieves in his or her own way... so also prepare yourself for your friend perhaps not wanting to talk about it or not wanting to share with you what she is feeling. That is what I was like when Jake, my old retriever died. He had been such a huge part of my life for so many years.... I used to tell people that he helped me raise the kids... when he died, I could not share any of it and did not want to talk to anyone about it. I had to get through the pain of his loss and just get used to what the day was without him in it... after a few months, that is when I wanted to talk and share. I had a friend who... though I'm sure it was with the best of intentions... kept trying to insist that I ahd to talk about it, that otherwise I was in denial... and that just made it worse for me. Another friend that really helped me deal with it was the one that was there and I knew that I could talk whenever I was ready.... not before I could.... and that was the friend that listened to what I was both saying and not saying.... if that makes any sense.

She is lucky to have a friend in you that cares enough to want to do this.

[minicooper]

Thanks for all the good thoughts. I have been spending a bit of time with her, and she seems to be coping OK. She is trying to concentrate on the good times she had with Sally.

Sorry I was misleading in the heading.

[Heidismom]

I was likewise relieved to learn it wasn't one of yours, Pauline. Please tell your friend how sorry I am for her loss. Losing a furchild is always hard - expected or not. Remembering the good times is always very helpful to me. Julia B.

:blue:

[maryanne]

I'm so sad to hear of your friend's loss. I'm sure that having you near, someone who understands, is a great comfort to her.