What about jealousy?

[meb]

We had Molly for about 6 year when we decided that maybe another doxie would be a good addition to the family. We expected Molly who has been our only focus of attention to be jealious of Buster. Much to our surprise it is just the opposite. Buster who is an 8 month old (neutered) male just can't stand it if we give Molly any attention. We try to make sure they both get plenty of love and attention. My question is can we do something to change Buster's jealousy toward Molly?

[Heide]

I know how I handle my 4 is to give each of them equal time.
I pick them up and snuggle and kiss and pet them and then do the next one the same way.
I havent had too many problems with jealousy so cant really say how to handle that for sure. I am sure other members will be able to help better.

[Molly's Mom]

We're having similiar problems, concerning our dog Sammy and the new puppies. Molly loves the puppies and is always happy to see them, and at first Sammy seemed to be the same way. However, they've been with us 2 weeks now, and suddenly Sammy is acting depressed when they are with him so much that you can see it in his face. The puppies try to play with him, but he just lies there. Occassionally, he will come to sniff them out, but usually walks away quickly. Lately, he has started to growl at them.

I feel bad punishing him because he's so depressed, but I can't allow him to growl like that. He seems even more heartbroken when we scold him. It's only been in the last day or so that he's finally beginning to come up to them more and not growl, and during those times we make a big deal to let him know how good he is.

The puppies are only a month old, and they are orphaned, which makes us have to spend more time with them than we normally would. Sammy's very happy when it's just one of us hoomans and the two older dogs, but as soon as he sees the pups, it's depression time again. So far, paying extra attention to him with the puppies in the room hasn't worked.

[doxiemommaof2]

I would think that this problem has more to do with the pack status than jealousy.
It sounds like perhaps the pup is trying to gain alpha status. This will all work itself out in time.
Same with the second reply...Sammy is trying to hold onto his alpha position. He is boss...and the pups need to know this right from the get go.

[meb]

I never thought of that. I guess you have to think like a dog. What you are saying makes sense. I treat both dogs egual, try to give them egual time and Buster horns in on Molly no matter how much attention he gets. He is 9 months old now. Still has lots of puppy in him. He's a great dog. Our granddaughter loves him. He is so good with her. Molly is more reserved. She was here before the granddaughter so Molly tends to go to her kennel when she is visiting and our granddaughter was taught to respect that. By the way our Molly is doing very well after her back episode. I was certain we would loss her. I had a very tough time with that. I just hope we don't have to go through it again. My husband built her a ramp a while back and he has now carpeted it because she is still weak in the hind legs. She goes to the vet 3X a week for treatments. I will be taking her today for another. I'd like to thank everyone for their help through this crisis with Molly. This site is just fantastic and everyone is so helpful.

[Molly's Mom]

How exactly do we fix this alpha situation though? Things got kind of scary in our house today.

Molly loves the puppies, and gladly plays with them for a while, then all the sudden she starts getting a little rough. Not being mean, just overly excited and rough in her play. Right now, this is when we give them all a break until things calm down.

It's more serious with Sammy. He does enjoy being around them an plays nicely for a while. Then, all the sudden, he gets mad. At first, it was just growling, and we let him do that at first in order to allow him to prove he's the alpha. However, there became a problem today. He was playing with one of the puppies on the floor, when all the sudden he got this way. Molly jumped in to protect the puppy, and he turned on Molly instead. Molly's big enough to fight, and they began fighting with the puppy right under then, lying on her back.

My mom was the only person with them at the time, and she really had trouble trying to break that up, while at the same time getting the puppy out from under them.

In one way, we're making progress because Sammy wouldn't even play with them for a while, but how do we stop these sudden outbursts?

[doxiemommaof2]

I think that Sammy needs to be taught that it is NOT okay. And that will just take time. Some doxies are more stubborn than others. Just keep interfearing, and telling him NO! Clap your hands when things tend to get out of control. Or physically seperate them, just as your mom did. He should be made to work for everything, his food, his walks, going outside, car rides, everything. Feed him out of your hand, rather than from a bowl. Make him sit before any activity...all these things send the message that you are the alpha, not him. And remember to be very consistant. I know that on the earilier post I said that it was okay for him to think he was alpha, but I was wrong in that YOU should be alpha. He thinks that he has a higher status than the puppies...and probably always will. However, he sounds like he needs a bit of an attitude adjustment, and doing the above should help. Don't fall for the depression expression. Remember, you are dealing with a master manipulator. Doxies are extremely smart, and just like little kids, they know how to play us. Once he realizes he is not the alpha, things should cool down between the dogs. I hope this helps you some. If you feel that correcting him as you have been doing is not working, then perhaps you should seek the advice of a professional behaviour trainer. I have never needed to seek one out for behaviour problems, but would not hesitate if I felt it was necessary.

[TessieMom]

You have to respect the alpha order that the dogs have worked out. You cannot enforce order. Thus, once you recognize who the alpha is, that dog gets their food first, gets attention first, and gets the pick of new toys. You do have to be alert to shifts in pack order also. I have 4 very jealous girls and one foster guy who wants all the attention. Everyone learns to take turns and sometimes, I do have to step in and settle a dispute before it happens! Pack order is necessary. Without it, there is chaos!

Rena and the Waco crew

[doxiemommaof2]

I agree that there is a pack order. However, it is NOT okay for Sammy to hurt the pups, or fight with Molly. Therefore, he needs to learn that he is not allowed to dominate in such ways. I think I put in my last post that he will always feel that he is above them, but that does not give him the right to fight them.

[doxunzX3]

Some dogs just don't like puppies. Go figure! But I agree that you need to keep them apart if this continues. It isn't worth it no matter what way you look at it. If one of the dogs end up bitten or worse the puppies. They could have emotional scares for life. When I had puppies or kids for that matter around a couple of my older dogs in the past. I would let them go to their crates. For escape and safety.
Do you have a safe place were the adults can stay away from the puppies if they want to? :confused: You might find in a few more weeks the attitude changes completely. If not just make sure your (Alpha hooman) and set some basic boundries. They have to work out the pack order. Not always a fun thing to go through but that's dogs. Not seeing the situation we cant' really know what or why it is going on. Just is!
I hope you can find someone in your area who can help your situaltion. :book: There is some good books out there if you have time to read them. But each one has a different idea and who knows which one is right or wrong.
Good Luck!:scratch: :thinker: Our feelings aren't the same as the dogs, thinking or feelings. The hardest thing for my roomate was to learn not to put humane feelings on the dogs situations. It's different. Fair or fare isn't spoken in barks and growls.:circle:

[Molly's Mom]

Thanks for all the advice. Looks like this is something we're going to have to work on for a while.

To answer a couple of questions: Yes, we do keep the big dogs separeted from the puppies most of the time. Both my mom and I are home during the day, so the big dogs spend a lot of the warm days outside, but we also have a small room in the house that is reserved for them. The puppies are only 7 weeks old, and not big enough to join them, so they have been staying in a bathroom on the second floor.

Several times a day, we take the puppies in the dogs' room for a visit, and this is when the incident occurred. I'm suspecting Sammy doesn't like them in his territory. The times that we let them mingle when they are in another room, he still does a little growling, but it's never been anything out of control.

Considering he's been doing better, outside of this one event, I am hoping that in time they will settle this themselves. However, if things don't improve, I will ask our vet for advice the next time the puppies go in for vaccinations.